DB's List

At brunch today we went around the room and everyone mentioned what they loved the best about their mom. DB was second and he brought tears to my eyes. "I love my mom 'cause she helps me with homework." That's true. We sit together sometimes for hours working.

"I also love my mom because she got me Cutie." That's his cat. Since DB doesn't have any brothers or sisters to commiserate with when mom has been "unfair", I made sure he had a pet to tell all his troubles too. She's one of his best friends in the world.

The last thing DB said was what surprised me and touched me, "I love my mom because she finds the bright side to things." Wow! I felt so proud of my son for recognizing this trait and appreciating it. The other adults gave me looks over his head as if to say you have a very special boy. He hasn't even made it into double digits, but his confidence and ability to express himself is something I would expect of a much older child.

We have a lot of craziness in our lives, and I try to keep things easy and simple for DB. Sometimes it's just not possible, and that's when I try to find something good in what's going on. In some instances, there's just no way to do this, and it would also be denying the awfulness of what's taking place. But whenever I can I try to find something that DB and I can smile and laugh over.

The weird thing about this is that I admire this trait in DB, and I've told him so. I guess I didn't realize that I was the one he was learning it from.

Tagged!

I was tagged by Frum House to do "the eight". This post took much longer than expected because I felt the need to explain my choices which is really another one of my passions... understanding the reason why about something.


8 passions in my life:

My family, especially DB - This means being a good daughter, sister, aunt, cousin and most importantly a good mother, and being a good mother includes not talking bad about DB's father to or around DB

Sex/men - Enjoying, appreciating, accepting and understanding (well, trying to understand) the differences between men and women and revelling in them.

Smiling/being able to laugh at most anything

Children - being with them, sometimes acting like one and viewing the world through their eyes

Reading - It was an escape for me when I was a child and I didn't want to/wasn't able to face the hurt in the world. It still is. Plus books are a source of knowledge and "if you can read a book you can do anything" - CR's mom

Judging someone favorably. You never know what they're going through or have been through.

Enjoying the world around me and being thankful for the ability to enjoy it which includes sunsets, water, wind, people

loving unconditionally and often - most definitely includes hugs and kisses... yummy.

If I could add something here it would be manners. They show that you respect, care about and are considerate of the people around you.


8 things I often say:

I don't know. What do you think? Let's go look it up. - I say this to DB to show him that adults don't know everything... no one does and that there's nothing wrong with admitting it, but then you have to go find the answer.

I'm not promising, but I'll do my best. - I DO NOT promise!!! I've been disappointed to many times by people who have promised things to me and I will not hurt anyone the same way.

Stooooooop it!!!! - said with laughter in my voice

OK, I admit it. You're right.

Bet you a nickel - in my family the most we bet, actually the only amount we bet is a nickel.

I was wrong. I'm sorry. - I say this to people when I'm wrong (No duh, CR), and that includes DB. I want him to understand that everyone deserves an apology even children.

All I care about is that you tried your best. - The result (sometimes) doesn't matter if you have tried and tried to do your best at something.

Thank you, Hashem. - I say this when I find something, when I see DB's smile, when I realize just how lucky I am, whenever and wherever.


8 books I read recently:

Time Travel in Einstein's Universe: The Physical Possibilities of Travel Through Time by J. Richard Gott - I am a geek and am actually enjoying learning physics or some of the concepts. This book explains how and if certain famous science fiction stories of time travel could work or not work.

Chofetz Chaim A Daily Companion; The Concepts and Laws of Proper Speech

Brother Odd by Dean Koontz. - I really enjoy his books. OK, that's an understatement. They are filled with love, determination, facing your fears, humor, and belief in the human race.

The EVERYTHING Parent's Guide to Children With Dyslexia by Abigail Marshall. - An amazing book that's filled with so much useful information about understanding and helping a child with dyslexia

If I Ran The Zoo by Dr. Seuss. - DB's choice for a bedtime story last night.

Pride And Prejudice by Jane Austen - I'm a sucker for romance.

Between Parent And Child by Dr. Haim G. Ginott revised and updated - A wonderful parenting book that teaches among other things not to blame just to acknowledge and move forward.

New York Civil Practice Law and Rules (2003 Redbook) and case law regarding divorce and child custody issues. I wish I was able to afford LexisNexis online. It would make my life so much easier. And yes, I know I need a newer version of the CPLR.


8 songs that mean something to me:

I Love You A Bushel And A Peck from Guys And Dolls - My mother still sings it to me and just about everyone else. I've adopted the practice and have passed it down to DB and some of his cousins.

Put Your Shoes On, Lucy by Petula Clark - We sing it when we are getting dressed and getting ready to go out.

Marine Corp Anthem - My father used to sing it to my brother and me as a lullaby.

It's An Outrage! from Oklahoma! - DB sings it by heart and with the exact accents, tones, inflections and actions as the actors.

My Little Boy words and music by my mom. - It was originally titled My Little Pearl but when my brother was born she would sing it to him as My Little Boy. I've added another verse specifically for DB.

Now Run Along Home And Jump Into Bed - My mother would sing it to us as the first lullaby of the night. She usually continued with at least one more song when putting us to sleep as children.

Everything Is Going To Be Alright music and words by my mom. The explanation about why I love this song is in this post.

Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond - Thursday nights cooking for Shabbos and dancing around the kitchen with my momand brother.


8 Qualities I look for in a friend:

Non-judgemental/acceptance

loving (which means giving of yourself without expecting anything in return)

making yourself available

sense of humor/fun-loving

understanding or trying to understand

ability to listen

kindness/caring

forgiveness


8 people I tag:

Tr8ergirl
Chaverah
Ellie
Curly Girl
Sarah
Shosh
Jack
Smoo
Lubab

I've realized that most of what I've written in this post has to do with being an example for DB so that he will one day grow up to be a happy, loving, considerate, caring man surrounded by others who feel the same for him.