Summer Nights

It's warm out tonight. The sky isn't that dark yet. It's all blue, a light sky color, to royal, to a deep midnight blue. It's part of my favorite time of night. I love the color blue. The stars are out and I recognize Orion in the familiar place it takes in the summer sky at this time of year.

I used to have a hammock, and in the warm weather instead of sitting on the glider in DB's room and reading his bedtime stories, he would lie cuddled next to me on it under the stars with the three books chosen for that night. When it was really warm out we would go out with his hair still wet from his bath and it would keep us both cool. Once or twice he fell asleep while we did this, and I just stayed there for an hour or two looking up at the stars feeling content that my darlin' boy was peaceful and next to me.

I hadn't thought about this for awhile. DB is bigger now. He doesn't fit that well on my lap when I'm on the glider so we read in his bed. The stories are also different; The Count of Monte Cristo, The Last Of The Mohicans, but Dr. Seuss hasn't left the group quite yet, although Green Eggs And Ham, and Hop On Pop have.

I know that if DB weren't dyslexic I wouldn't be reading him any bedtime stories at all. That's about the only good thing that I can see in him being dyslexic. There are times now when he wants to "read" something on his own, and the occasions that I sing to him our repertoire of lullabies are also decreasing.

He's growing up... beautifully. I remember the day I walked into his room in the morning and he was standing up for the first time holding onto the crib rails with a big grin of accomplishment on his face. It took me all of a minute to grab my camera and record it for posterity, but I didn't really need to. Closing my eyes, I can still see that sweet face smiling at me.

His manners are also improving. I wrote improving, after all he is a boy and a child, but yesterday I didn't need to remind him to hold open the door for Bubbi and to say thank you. We stopped in a gallery and DB stood talking to the owner about Chagall, texture and color and how he paints. He is so grown up for a little munch, but the next moment he was discussing who is a stronger alien in the cartoon Ben 10 (tv show he watches with his dad), and acting out what the character does.

He's a special boy, and I'm so lucky to be his mom. I hope all you other mom's (including mr. moms) enjoy your children and have a Happy Mother's Day.

I'm Baaaaack!

Yup, I'm back in Oz. Believe it or not I'm also unpacked, AND everything is put away!!! Holy Moly Batman!! It looks like a different apartment. Are you sure this is home?!?!?

I'm a little punch drunk and wired on caffeine. I felt the need to tell you in case you couldn't figure it out. Which you very well can't. My hands are shaking a little and as much as I know I need the sleep my eyes just aren't closing. PLUS and that's a big PLUS, I've missed writing. I know I just wrote a post yesterday, but man, that was my first post in about a week.

I've got a lot to say and only about an hour to say it. Then DB will be up and I've got mucho errands to run after I drop him off at school; including court, the dry cleaners, the shoemaker, some food shopping, and the bank. OOOH almost forgot I have to pay some bills too.

Soooo about Thanksgiving... it was quiet this year only about 35 people and most everyone was gone by 8 p.m. It was kind of disappointing not to see all the cousins, but everyone who was there had a good time. I had invited GF and she brought along her son. After seeing who some of my relatives were she said that she understood how I was related to so many people in Kansas. She also came over for Shabbos lunch too, and it's great to have a new friend in Kansas who isn't even related.

I saw an old friend/boyfriend on Shabbos. He looked great. He's a bigshot doctor, married with five children and we picked up as if we had seen each other yesterday instead of 15 years ago. It's nice to see he's still the same sweet guy I had a crush on in high school. Hey! He even recognized me, and I look a lot different than the way I did then.

One of the tough things about holidays for children of divorced families is who you are going to spend them with. I'm lucky though, my parents get along and feel comfortable around each other. That wasn't necessarily the case when I was younger, but after the grandchildren were born things changed. Ever since I was little, maybe around five years old, I couldn't wait to have my own house in Kansas and that way I could invite all my family members including my dad and mom. It's still a dream of mine. I want to be able to share the joy and laughter and yes, the stress too. Hey, if I'm inviting all those people there's going to be some stress involved. I'm sure the oven will stop working or the refrigerator will break, but that will just add more to the memories and laughter.

There's more to say. I don't want to forget to tell you about my dream with Pierce Brosnan (from when he was in The Thomas Crown Affair, major HOT) and Brad Pitt, but I'm finally winding down. Of course if I went to sleep now I would wake up sooooo very cranky. It looks like I will just catch up on my blog reading. I want to know what's been going on with all of you. I hope I'll be able to write more this week, but I know I'm going to be very busy out of the house and working on papers. I never thought that I would crave writing this much.

btw- I know this has nothing to do with this post. I've been kind of rambling anyway. I've decided that I like it better when an author puts his thoughts about a story after the story and not before. I don't want to be told what to expect. I want to figure it out for myself and just enjoy the words. THEN, I would love to know how the story came into being.

OH! I found a book of children's poetry by Dean Koontz at Barnes & Nobles today. It's along the lines of Jack Prelutsky a CR family fave. We have several of his books. We really like the ones with the illustrations by Peter Sis.

Another thing... It looks like I'm going to be taking a course on Orton-Gillingham, which deals with methods of helping dyslexic children learn to read. Soooo excited. It will help me to help DB. Then I can also tutor and make some MUCH needed money.

I HATE SCHOOL!!!!

It was DB's first day of school and he had a miserable time. Everyone in class was able to finish two pages of work while he only got up to the second question. That meant that everyone got to something fun after they were done.

DB is very intelligent and he is completely aware that he should be able to do everything the other kids in his class can do because he has the smarts to do it. He just doesn't have the skills. It's so freakin' sad and frustrating.

OMG!!!!!! They expect him to be able to read Rashi script and write the same sentence into Hebrew script. He can't even read Hebrew print that well, if at all. WHAT IS THEIR PROBLEM?!?!

He said to me tonight that he tells his father he needs easy work, "but Daddy says the work should be hard to help me learn better. But Mommy, Einstein became smart because he didn't give up not because he went to a hard school" Then DB explained that "easy" means that he would be able to do it. "If I don't learn anything this year I will go into fifth grade without any knowledge. I don't want to go to camp this summer 'cause I want to be able to study so I won't forget stuff and I'll be ready for school."

He wants to do well so badly. This is not a lazy child. If he doesn't do his homework, it's because he can't. He gets so scared and says I can't go to school tomorrow my teachers will be angry at me that I haven't done my homework right. He doesn't like asking me for help, but he does. But then his teachers write that he can't have help with certain parts and he cries. Because he wants my help but won't allow himself to have it.

The worst thing about this is that he could go to a different school that would be able to help him, but his father is preventing this from happening. It's just a control issue. So now DB will have to stay in this school until a motion is written, then a cross motion, then possibly another cross motion and then a hearing. It's insane. All because his father doesn't want to believe that anything I say (or 7 other professionals) might be good for DB.

I'm no longer angry at my stbx for anything that has happened between us. I've gotten past that a looooong time ago. BUT the things he does that hurt DB....

AAARGH!!!!!!!!

Yes, I'm Relaxed...

I have so much to do and to write. So... guess what comes first?

It's quiet in my apartment. DB is sleeping, the air conditioner is on, and the sound of classical music is filtering through the walls. Someone has it playing very loudly so I get to enjoy it too. This all very conducive to writing. Plus I'm sitting in an old wooden desk chair on wheels, at the old (but new to me) dining room table that I put back together after moving it. The chair creaks whenever I lean back, and I know that I need to pull out the DW-40 sometime soon to oil it.

I feel very content right now, at peace, relaxed and it makes absolutely no sense to feel this way. I have court tomorrow, the apartment is a big and I mean BIG mess. Papers are strewn everywhere. (Always wanted to use the word strewn.) Legos are on the floor in the bathroom. I've been trying to figure out that one. Oh! DB was probably playing with them in the bath and left me to find them with my bare feet in the middle of the night. OW!

Ahhhh.... but my boy was relaxed tonight. He hasn't been relaxed in such a long time and it's a pleasure to see. I'm so happy for him. He asked me how my day was when I picked him up from camp. Of course, I asked him first, but still.... I didn't have to remind him. The lessons and nudges about using his manners are working. The other day he opened my car door. I was joking around, "What are you doing little one? Are you going to drive us today?" "No, Mommy I just opened the door for you." Boy, did that put me in my place and shock me at the same time. A neighbor that was walking by was informed immediately about my gentleman son. Couldn't be prouder of da boy.

Tonight I got a hug and "You're the best mom ever." Not to mention giggles and a trip to Chile. We have started watching Wheel Of Fortune together to help with his dyslexia. We're planning on taking our trip next summer so we can go skiing there (in our dreams).

We read two more chapters of Ben and Me. He was trying so hard to keep his eyes open that there were no complaints when I closed the book and said time for Shema. Yes, another book on Benjamin Franklin. It's getting so that DB is correcting the book when the history is not completely accurate. Benjamin Franklin is one of DB's idols along with Spiderman, Einstein ('cause he had dyslexia, was a scientist, dealt with time travel, "And he's JEWISH, Mommy). DB's dream is to create more inventions and be a better scientist than Ben Franklin. I can't wait until he does. I've got to try to get us to the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia by the end of the summer. No, not the Franklin Mint that makes all those Elvis plates and other collectibles. I would really love to know who actually collects those things.

And we're back...
My attorney just called after re-reading the forensic report and stated that we actually have a very good case. There's a pre-trial settlement meeting scheduled at court for tomorrow. Wish me luck Actually, wish DB luck because I'm doing this for him. I'll let you know how it goes. It's not scheduled until the afternoon so there's the possibility of us being back in court on Wed.

My mom is on her way up to offer emotional support. Actually, she just sits next to me and knits or crochets. It helps keep me calm so that I can think clearly. She's made three ponchos, three scarves (I made a scarf myself one day in court), two blankets, and a hat during the court appearances, hearings and trials. And would you believe that not one of them has been for me. Ever since the duck sweater incident in the 80's she hasn't made me anything, and it wasn't even my fault. She kept on ripping it out and starting over again.

I might bring my needlepoint tomorrow. I haven't worked on it in such a long time, and it appears that things might be coming to a close soon.... ok six months can't really be considered soon, but it is in my eyes after going through this craziness for so many years. I want to have it ready to hang in my new home. Boy, does that sound nice... I'll just keep davening and hoping and wishing and working my ass trying to make sure that it happens.

Ugh! I'm gonna go now, and I haven't even updated y'all about the men or lack thereof, situation. I guess you'll just have to wait.