Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Flying Monkeys Are From Oz

In my past (sordid?), I was the pursuer. In fact, I initiated and ended (in order to prevent myself from getting hurt) every relationship I ever had except for one. The proverbial fish that got away. He did want to get back together but by then I was dating my stbx. He became the controlling one to the point of abuse. No, not physical.....but still extremely painful. I am trying to distance myself from men like that. Yesterday I got an e-mail from Mr. Control, another fm, (frum male aka flying monkey) from Frumster. Control hadn't contacted me in over a month, and I didn't call or write him especially after this e-mail:

Look, I like you, I like talking to you and I am very much looking forward to meeting you. You need to please understand that I do not want to talk on the phone for the next couple of days. Please, I need to you to respect that. If you can't just tell me and I won't call you or email you anymore.

Two weeks before he wrote that Control told me he was having a rough time and was very busy. He told me he would call in a half hour and then I wouldn't hear from him for three days. Control also made plans to get together with me, but didn't follow through. It started to feel like a game, and I didn't know the rules. So I decided to write my own . I called him to let him know that I hoped things were going better for him and left a specific message that there is absolutely no need to call me back. It's extremely difficult for me to understand how a phone call from someone that you are supposedly very interested in can be such a pain...... yeah, yeah, men are from Mars and women are from Venus..... and flying monkeys are from Oz.

Why all of a sudden do I hear from him again (by e-mail)? "How come you haven't called me in awhile? I thought I would hear from you last week." WHAAAAAAT!!!!!! Will someone please explain this to me? Is this a tactic fm's use to get you lost on your way to the Wonderful Wizard?

Then there's Mr. Charm........ the Tin Man, Scarecrow and Cowardly Lion all rolled into one. A good friend with brains, a heart, and the courage to be himself. I feel cared for and understood when I'm with him, not to mention the way he makes me laugh. And it's obvious by his words and actions that he's a loving father.

It's been two months since I've started to get to know him...... in every meaning of the word. I'm trying my best to enjoy the walk (skip?) down the yellow brick road. But, there's an elephant in the room or rather a moving van. It looks like I will finally be able to leave Oz by the end of June, but Charm isn't going anywhere.

I have the feeling I'm going to be learning another lesson.


smoo said...

I liked your Oz analogies. If you haven't already done so, you must see WICKED. Get great seats or you will regret it.

come running said...

Haven't seen it, but I would love to. As a matter of fact, haven't seen anything on Broadway in years and I mean years....

Sometimes I feel like Dorothy being the out-of-towner that I am. I don't think I have a hard enough skin to survive in Oz... I mean NY. Well, I might be able to survive and that is what I have been doing for ______ years, but I would like to do better than that. I'm starting to enjoy life more and I'm looking forward to doing that in "Kansas"

rebelwithacause said...

Mr. Control sounds like a player who is looking for women "to play with".