ARGH!

I'm stuck. I can't write or rather nothing decent is coming out of me. I know why, but when I try to write it out in a post or poem it makes no sense or is just plain horrible. Maybe it's because I'm just not sure of what's going on, and I need a feeling that's strong that encompasses me instead of confusing me.


I've been getting some, ok ok, a lot of questions recently. They usually start with "I've been reading your blog. Who are you writing about? Are you dating? What is going on ?" So here are some answers...

He's a friend or started out as one. I've known him for awhile and then things just changed one day. Up to that point we had only been e-mailing and chatting. Then we spoke and y'all know how I am about voices. I know that in the past that I've said, "this guy I like has a great voice!!" But this man has a voice to melt glaciers. My legs turn to jello when I hear it. I was a goner, but only because I've known him for quite some time.

There's a connection between us. Maybe he's experienced it before with other women, but I've never experienced it at all. It's frustrating, fascinating and has me so off-balance and confused. He "gets" me. I can talk to him about anything, really ANYTHING!! I've never ever in my life been able to do that. I could also talk to him for hours. Actually, we have been talking for hours and hours. I know about him, his family, friends and what I hear I like.

Yes, he reads my blog. I'm not sure if it's regularly or on occasion, and there's a chance he might read this. That still doesn't stop me from writing. He knows all of this anyway, and it just helps me figure things out. He lives in Texas so we haven't met yet. Yeah, yeah, I know. I just wrote that I wouldn't spend time on the phone with someone I might date, and that I would get to know them in person, but this is different. I already knew him, and I've seen pictures of him. He's a good-looking man. Yummy!!

Haveil Havalim #155

...is up at the shack. Even though Jack sounds exhausted (check out his voice-killer), he's done another great job!

I Could Always Use More...

friends.

I can now add another bud as a friend of mine. NN has decided that he isn't interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I think he was concerned how I was going to handle it, but it didn't surprise me that much. He had some tells that let me know this might happen.

The funny thing is that two days before he told me I was contacted by two people via Frumster. The day before he told me I was contacted by someone else, and the day he told me two more men contacted me. Whoa, Nellie!!! The best thing about it is that these men are all possibilities except for one who can't relocate, but wants to date anyway.

What's the deal? None of these men are brand new to Frumster and some have seen my profile before. Whatever the reason, I'm enjoying it, but a little overwhelmed. I can only date one person at a time. Actually, I could probably date two, but I wouldn't want to. Feelings could get very hurt if one of them found out, and I just don't want to do that.

So tonight, I wrote "If it doesn't work out, would you mind if I contacted you in the future" messages. Reason being because I have a date Sat. night. HOLY MOLY BATMAN!!! Yup, you read it right. CR has another date with another guy in less than two weeks from the one with NN. Man, it looks like I'm some sort of playa, but that's not the case.

Things changed with NN and I moved on. There's no rebound either.... weird, but y'all already know that I'm weird.

Drum roll, please and now for the new guy. Geez Louise! I have to come up with another name. Hmmmmm... well, let me describe him and see if something fits. He's a gentleman, considerate, smart, funny, witty, attractive (ok, ok, he's handsome) and he's got a great voice. Don't even think it because you're right. CR and voices, again. What can I say? A man's voice really turns me on.

Oh! I've got his name. He actually gave it to himself. He's Tall, Dark, and Convenient (TDC). Convenient because he lives near Kansas already. We're off to a good start. Plus we have similar views on things. He sent me a drasha (I'll have to go into another time) that really hit home with me.

There's so much more to write about what's going on with me, but not enough time right now. I hope y'all are enjoying Chanuka. I know I am!

Playing With Fire

I miss the sound of your voice

slipping into my thoughts

with sexy sweetness

drawing me

closer

to your hot breath

My hesitation

only makes my skin burn

for your touch

that sears

pleasure

on my soul