Busy, Busy, Busy...

Most definitely not G rated:
But definitely entertaining

Sooooo sooooooo much has been going on this week, and I haven't had that much time to write about it. Here goes...

1) I drove back and forth to Kansas three times in three days if I've counted it right. My brain is just a little fried from being so tired. And I'm so tired because on Monday I moved a dining room set, credenza and another table out of my great-uncle's non-air conditioned house. Yes, it was about 99 degrees without the heat index. So I took everything a part and actually moved the credenza myself on a dolly. My dad helped me tilt it into the truck so I could pull it up and put it in.

Then I drove the truck back to Oz, and unloaded everything. I did get a little help with the top of the dining room table. I'm a little achy now from all the hard work. And I still need to screw everything back together. But at least I unpacked.

2) Chassidish came over last night and we behaved ourselves... as difficult as it was. He stayed awhile so I didn't get to sleep until late

3) The night before that when I was in Kansas I spent a long time sending messages back and forth to Confused Guy (named by rebel with a cause) who doesn't seem so confused anymore and Teen. I'm calling him that because even though he's a little older (Bud thinks he may be too old for me) he acts and talks young. I don't mean immature, just young and full of life.

4) Someone from Frumster contacted me. Not what you're thinking... someone who works for Frumster. He said that he read my blog and would I let him know my identity. It made me feel like a spy. I told him no and asked why. He wanted to get my input about Frumster and any suggestions I might have. I sent him some and if any of you out there have specific things you want added or changed let me know and I'll pass it along.

But really, after writing about what happened with Bud and now Chassidish did he really think I was going to tell him who I was. He probably would have had me kicked off of Frumster. Do they actually do that?

5) I was also up late this past week working on the trial. Of course, the dates have been changed and there isn't even going to be a pre-trial conference tomorrow. C'est la vie. What can I do? Nothing, so I've chosen not to worry about it and instead take care of the baby again tomorrow.

Now for the unbelievable story.....
I got a phone call last night from a guy I know through frumster. No, I am most definitely not saying who it is because of what he asked. Ok, ok, I'll tell you what he asked... He prefaced it by stating that he never wanted me to speak of it again after our conversation. My ears really perked up then. I answered, "of course" and was quiet waiting for the bomb to drop.

AND THEN IT DID!!! OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH!! OMIGOSH!!!!

He said "How would you like to come out with me tonight to a 'couple's club'?" Then there was silence. I think he wanted to let it sink in. At first I wasn't sure what he meant, but since he was still quiet I realized that it was what I thought it was.... a swinger's club.

HOLY MOLEY!!!! ABSOLUTELY FRIGGIN' UNBELIEVABLE!!! WHOA!!!!!

I didn't know if I should be insulted or not. Then I started thinking about it.... I was curious. C'mon I'm sure that you've all heard of these things going on, but have never been a part of it or known where it was taking place.

Anyway, he broke first and said "Did you understand me?"
"I sure did. What the hell are you thinking??" and then I cracked up and couldn't stop laughing. My stomach started to hurt I was laughing sooo hard. It takes a lot to insult me. Well, obviously.
When I finally started to get quiet he asked me if I would be willing to go. The curiosity really started to get to me. I have this unsatiable desire to find out and learn and see new things and ideas. I really did seriously contemplate it. No, I wasn't going to participate. I just wanted to see for myself. I mean really, it would have made a great story.

But two things prevented me from going: Chassidish was already on his way over, and I didn't feel comfortable going with this guy (the one who asked me, not Chassidish) in particular. Soooo the answer was no. But if he ever asks again.......

I'm supposed to talk to CG and Teen tonight. We'll see how it goes. btw- both are willing to relocate.

Happy News:
Pen went out this week with a really nice girl and they got along great. We've been staying in touch mostly by e-mail and talking about our different dates. There's no flirting going on which makes it easy and comfortable. I'm sooooo happy for him. He's a sweet guy and deserves someone who realizes it and is just as caring. I wish the same for any of us who are single out there.

Ups And Downs OR Justice And The Law Are Not The Same

I really try very hard to stay positive, but sometimes I just feel beaten down. Like today, just got some news from my attorney about the divorce and an unjust decision by the court. It looks like another appeal I have to write and write it I damn well will!!!! I don't curse, unless you consider saying "fudge" a curse word. In fact, you can ask Bud. He used to comment on that a lot when we were going out.

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes so frustrated because it feels like things will never end. It also feels like if you don't have money or aren't psycho the system is bound to eat you alive. BUT I just won't give up. No matter what DB is counting on me (even if he doesn't know it) to take care of him and make sure that he doesn't get hurt... physically, emotionally, mentally. Sometimes it's a helluva lot for my shoulders to bear so of course it makes me wish for someone else in my life to tell me it's gonna be okay.

That's what makes this next part so funny (ironically, of course). Friday's date was great. Mr. Wonderful stood outside the restaurant in the street to save me a parking space. When we saw each other we just smiled for awhile and laughed. When we ate he was staring into my eyes for minutes at a time, and then he volunteered some more very personal stuff about himself and his family. After we ate and went back to the car he gave me a book. The one we had been discussing. Time Travel In Einstein's Universe about the physical possibilities of time trave. (Bud, you might like this, but I'm not sure how you feel about physics and there's a lot of it in the book).

I drove him to his friend's house and we got stuck in traffic for two hours. But there was never a lack of anything to say and even when we got quiet for a moment or two it was easy and comfortable. Sooo this is my question... why haven't I heard from him? He's been on Frumster and has definitely seen me on Frumster.

Now I'm just waiting for the third thing to happen. Haven't you ever heard of bad things coming in threes? At least I'm prepared and waiting for the shoe to drop.

Days like these make me ask "WHY???" Why does Hashem put so much hurt in this world? Why do children have to suffer? Why can't Hashem sometimes let up and help me help my son?

I know, I know.... I'm getting overemotional. I mean really, what does $50,000 mean to someone who is so deep in debt that the credit card companies aren't even bringing her to court for judgements because it would just be a waste of their money since I have no assets. You gotta laugh at that one... I do... I'm on pretty good terms with a lot to the collectors and at this point believe it or not they're nice to me.

I'm disappointed... No duh, CR and I'm talking to myself. It's just that I thought there was something good going on with Mr. Not-So-Wonderful. All you have to do is say or write I'm busy or I don't think this right for me. Jesus Christ!!!!! What is so hard about that??? Well, I'm not a guy and I'm most certainly not an insecure, unfeeling guy so I can't really speak for .....
I'm just not into game playing. I'm straight out honest and I guess you could say extremely naive. I'm just not cut out for Oz. I kind of hope and expect that decency and justice rules the world when in fact I'm constantly faced with the opposite.

Now that I have thoroughly brought all the rest of you down with me, it's time to just forget about it and keep on trying and moving forward. Sometimes though I would like to just hop on a plane to Hawaii or Venice or Eretz Yisrael. Doesn't Hashem listen to tefillos?? And when is it going to end??

Enough, enough, already!!!! It's time to tell you how funny it was that I woke up very early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. Guess who was on Frumster??? Yup, Mr. Not-So-Wonderful. Ohh, forgot to tell you that I probably broke the rules when I left him a message after Shabbos asking how his went? And then when I texted him a thank you for the book. Whatever... I'm not a rules person...

Anyway, now that I've been rambling self-pity it's time to stop. Hey!!!!!! School is almost out!!! I was never even this happy about school ending when I was a kid. It's just that it's so stressful for DB and I can't wait!!! I've been keeping him posted on how many days he has left.

Before I forget-- Happy Father's Day for all you good dads out there who care about, love and put your children first. Your children will be forever grateful that you did.

Please Don't Pump On May 15th

The cost of gasoline is very important to me. I have a limited amount of money right now (divorce, and all that comes with it) and I drive to Kansas just about every other weekend. It adds up!!! So when my dad forwarded the following e-mail to me it hit home.

In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight. On May 15th 2007, all internet users are to not go to a gas station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places. There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the internet network, and the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up. If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil companies pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th and lets try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day. If you agree (which I cant see why you wouldn't) resend this to all your contact list. With it saying, ''Don't pump gas on May 15th"

There is absolutely no reason for gas prices to be as high as they are right now, and changes can take place when people join together. Even if you drive a gas guzzling SUV without a care about gas prices, or don't believe it can work, think of this single mother paying for overpriced gasoline just so DB and I can spend Shabbos with the ones we love. So make sure that your gas tanks are filled on the 14th and don't pump gas on May 15th.

Spring Ramblings

Spring....in my step.... almost a skip.... A soft breeze and a damp smell of growth... melting snow watering new buds...

I missed skiing again this year. The skis were in Kansas, along with my boots and all my other gear. DB is itching to get on the slopes and he's never skied... Next year!!!! He'll pick it up very quickly and we'll race down the mountain, no stopping and quads burning. But for now the bike tires have air in them and we'll be doing some riding. I'm not looking forward to lugging the bikes back and forth from Oz to Kansas, but it will be worth it when DB and I go riding together.

I love the outdoors. What I love the most is the wind in my face. It brings to mind a dog hanging his head out the window in ecstasy. It such a sense of freedom to me. I love the wind whether it's from skiing a run down a mountain, a ride on a horse, biking, running, sailing, and of course the window open while driving with the music blaring singing my heart out and smiling.

Squeaky, my minivan, is slowly falling apart. I try to keep her in good shape, but I've put a lot of miles on her and she wasn't new when she came to me. The next car will also have to be a minivan. It's necessary for carpools, playdates, and traveling with DB and the cat. She goes with us to Kansas and has been since we got her when she was 4 months old. DB has been traveling back and forth to Kansas in the car since he's been three months. They both behave beautifully and there is no DVD player. I'm kind of old school in that respect. I would rather DB read, draw, look out the window and notice the world around him, sing with me, talk to me, and connect with me.

DB and I talk about getting a new car and we're in agreement that the next one must have a sunroof. He's definitely his mother's kid. My first car had a sunroof, and in every season it was open. The only time I drove with it closed was when it was raining (drizzling and it would still stay open) or snowing very hard. For about year I took care of three of my younger cousins (all under the age of three) and even if they couldn't ask for the sunroof to be opened they would point at it.

I've got to schedule an oil change for Squeaky, and I really do have to replace the spark plugs and wires. Dad has been on my case about it. It doesn't take all that long, but I really want to do it with DB so that he can learn how to do these things for himself the way I learned with my dad. He's definitely not going to do anything like this with is father. I still feel a sense of accomplishment in the fact that I replaced the battery. It's not a hard job to do and lord knows I do own enough tools to get it done, but the best part was talking to my dad about it after and being able to tell him something he didn't know. Just in case any of you ever need to replace your car battery always disconnect the negative cable first. It's obvious my dad is proud of me, but when I told him about the cable and then when he saw the new kitchen floor I put down I really felt it. Talk about being confident in my abilities... he wants me to do his kitchen floor next. WOW!!! Ultimate compliment.

I love to work with my hands and enjoy the feeling of knowing that I can take care of myself. BUT, I wish that I didn't have to. It would be wonderful to give over some things to someone else or to even have someone else share some of the responsibilities. It's hard being mom and dad. It's also hard having to be the one to discipline all the time. DB's a great kid so it really isn't all the time, but his father doesn't discipline at all, and so he's the fun one in DB's eyes.

Daddy

Dad, Mr. Marine, tough guy, whose heart melts whenever db is around. Spoke with him a few moments ago and boy was he grumpy. A friend of his was running late, and he doesn't appreciate that AT ALL. Of course it's also 1:30 and Daddy didn't have any lunch yet. I suggested that he eats something before she comes over and his reply in a deep voice, "I don't want to eat anything I want to be grumpy when she gets here."

I started to crack up.... couldn't help it. Dad knows that if he eats something he won't be cranky anymore and wouldn't say anything about the lateness to his friend. I can see Daddy's lips pressed together so he wouldn't smile and I'm sure that his eyes were twinkling and his nostrils flaring.... that's the tell-tale sign. Whenever I point it out to him he can't hold back his laughter. He tried to rush me off the phone in his gruff voice so that I wouldn't hear him chuckle.

Gotta love Dad.

The Number Eleven

My dad the former Marine (OORAH!) forwarded this to me.

The Secret behind the number 11 (READ THIS!!) Date: Fri, 2 Feb 2007
13:38:49
-0500 The Secret behind the number 11 - Pretty Chilling Read to the
bottom. Try it out. I did and I got goose bumps If you are a
skeptical person - still read on as it's actually very interesting!!

This is actually really freaky!! (Mainly the end part, but read it
first)
1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11
letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb has 11 letters. (The terrorist who threatened
to
destroy the Twin Towers in 1993)
4) George W Bush has 11
letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets
interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing
against the
Twin Towers was flight number 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying
92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers was
carrying 65 passengers. 6+5 =
11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or
9/11 as it is now known 9 + 1+ 1= 11
6) The date is equal to the US
emergency services telephone number 911. 9 +
1 + 1 = 11

Sheer
coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:

1) The total
number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 +
5 + 4 =
11.
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5
+
4 = 11.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 +
4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers
incident.

Now this is where things get totally eerie: The most
recognized symbol
for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle.
The following verse is
taken from the Koran, the Islamic holy book:
"For
it is written that a son
of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath
of the Eagle would be felt
throughout the lands of Allah while some of the
people trembled in despair still
more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle
cleansed the lands of Allah and there
was peace."
That verse is number
9.11 of the Koran.

Unconvinced about all of this Still ..?! Try this and
see how you feel
afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:
Open
Microsoft Word and do the
following:
1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is
the flight number of the first plane to
hit one of the Twin Towers.
2.
Highlight the Q33 NY.
3. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the
actual font to the WINGDINGS 1

What do you think now?!! NORMALLY I
WOULDN'T FORWARD SOMETHING LIKE
THIS BUT HONEST TO GOD TRUE STORY:
NATURALLY READING THAT LAST PART ABOUT
SENDING IT OUT, I WANTED TO KNOW BY
WHAT TIME I WOULD NEED TO GET IT
DONE.............. THE TIME ON MY
COMPUTER.............. 11:11 A.M.
EXACTLY!!!!!!

Kind of freaky isn't?!?!? My dad always sends me these weird things. Gotta love him.