Very Talented

Y'all know that I'm talented at hurting myself in weird ways. What I haven't told you is that I'm very talented at making a mess too. My mother used to and still does call me a tornado. When I was growing up she was constantly telling me, "Why can't you be neat like your brother?" Ugh! If anything, that pushed me in the opposite direction of what she wanted. Max is my younger brother and just hearing that I should be like him was a blow to my ego. Plus the fact that he would rub it in my face later on.

Another reason I balked at cleaning my room was because my mom would tell me to do it. When someone tells me to do something that is a sure indication that I won't. I know that it's not the most mature behavior and I'm working on it. I just respond better to being asked. Of course she probably did ask me repeatedly, and when that didn't work she had to tell me to do it.

I would turn around and glare at her. "It's my room. Why can't I keep it the way I like?!!!!" I would stomp my feet as hard as possible up the steps to let her know my displeasure and then slam my door. I'd turn up my music loud enough to annoy her, but not quite loud enough to have her come to my room and yell at me to turn it down. I made sure that she was able to hear the words and I played the hell out of my Pink Floyd, The Wall tape.

I am laughing as I hear her voice in my head telling me not to speak to her that way. I say the same thing to DB when he uses those words to tell me he prefers to have everything he owns on the floor. And I realize that those many times I stormed up those stairs might have contributed to the creaks in them.

My mom finds it very funny that DB can destroy a neat room in the same amount or possibly even less time than I could/can. I know that she's thinking payback. But I get the last laugh when DB and I go to Kansas for Shabbos. We leave a wake in our trail as soon as we walk in the door... at least, now I clean up without her telling me too.

Yes, I'm Relaxed...

I have so much to do and to write. So... guess what comes first?

It's quiet in my apartment. DB is sleeping, the air conditioner is on, and the sound of classical music is filtering through the walls. Someone has it playing very loudly so I get to enjoy it too. This all very conducive to writing. Plus I'm sitting in an old wooden desk chair on wheels, at the old (but new to me) dining room table that I put back together after moving it. The chair creaks whenever I lean back, and I know that I need to pull out the DW-40 sometime soon to oil it.

I feel very content right now, at peace, relaxed and it makes absolutely no sense to feel this way. I have court tomorrow, the apartment is a big and I mean BIG mess. Papers are strewn everywhere. (Always wanted to use the word strewn.) Legos are on the floor in the bathroom. I've been trying to figure out that one. Oh! DB was probably playing with them in the bath and left me to find them with my bare feet in the middle of the night. OW!

Ahhhh.... but my boy was relaxed tonight. He hasn't been relaxed in such a long time and it's a pleasure to see. I'm so happy for him. He asked me how my day was when I picked him up from camp. Of course, I asked him first, but still.... I didn't have to remind him. The lessons and nudges about using his manners are working. The other day he opened my car door. I was joking around, "What are you doing little one? Are you going to drive us today?" "No, Mommy I just opened the door for you." Boy, did that put me in my place and shock me at the same time. A neighbor that was walking by was informed immediately about my gentleman son. Couldn't be prouder of da boy.

Tonight I got a hug and "You're the best mom ever." Not to mention giggles and a trip to Chile. We have started watching Wheel Of Fortune together to help with his dyslexia. We're planning on taking our trip next summer so we can go skiing there (in our dreams).

We read two more chapters of Ben and Me. He was trying so hard to keep his eyes open that there were no complaints when I closed the book and said time for Shema. Yes, another book on Benjamin Franklin. It's getting so that DB is correcting the book when the history is not completely accurate. Benjamin Franklin is one of DB's idols along with Spiderman, Einstein ('cause he had dyslexia, was a scientist, dealt with time travel, "And he's JEWISH, Mommy). DB's dream is to create more inventions and be a better scientist than Ben Franklin. I can't wait until he does. I've got to try to get us to the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia by the end of the summer. No, not the Franklin Mint that makes all those Elvis plates and other collectibles. I would really love to know who actually collects those things.

And we're back...
My attorney just called after re-reading the forensic report and stated that we actually have a very good case. There's a pre-trial settlement meeting scheduled at court for tomorrow. Wish me luck Actually, wish DB luck because I'm doing this for him. I'll let you know how it goes. It's not scheduled until the afternoon so there's the possibility of us being back in court on Wed.

My mom is on her way up to offer emotional support. Actually, she just sits next to me and knits or crochets. It helps keep me calm so that I can think clearly. She's made three ponchos, three scarves (I made a scarf myself one day in court), two blankets, and a hat during the court appearances, hearings and trials. And would you believe that not one of them has been for me. Ever since the duck sweater incident in the 80's she hasn't made me anything, and it wasn't even my fault. She kept on ripping it out and starting over again.

I might bring my needlepoint tomorrow. I haven't worked on it in such a long time, and it appears that things might be coming to a close soon.... ok six months can't really be considered soon, but it is in my eyes after going through this craziness for so many years. I want to have it ready to hang in my new home. Boy, does that sound nice... I'll just keep davening and hoping and wishing and working my ass trying to make sure that it happens.

Ugh! I'm gonna go now, and I haven't even updated y'all about the men or lack thereof, situation. I guess you'll just have to wait.