Summer Nights

It's warm out tonight. The sky isn't that dark yet. It's all blue, a light sky color, to royal, to a deep midnight blue. It's part of my favorite time of night. I love the color blue. The stars are out and I recognize Orion in the familiar place it takes in the summer sky at this time of year.

I used to have a hammock, and in the warm weather instead of sitting on the glider in DB's room and reading his bedtime stories, he would lie cuddled next to me on it under the stars with the three books chosen for that night. When it was really warm out we would go out with his hair still wet from his bath and it would keep us both cool. Once or twice he fell asleep while we did this, and I just stayed there for an hour or two looking up at the stars feeling content that my darlin' boy was peaceful and next to me.

I hadn't thought about this for awhile. DB is bigger now. He doesn't fit that well on my lap when I'm on the glider so we read in his bed. The stories are also different; The Count of Monte Cristo, The Last Of The Mohicans, but Dr. Seuss hasn't left the group quite yet, although Green Eggs And Ham, and Hop On Pop have.

I know that if DB weren't dyslexic I wouldn't be reading him any bedtime stories at all. That's about the only good thing that I can see in him being dyslexic. There are times now when he wants to "read" something on his own, and the occasions that I sing to him our repertoire of lullabies are also decreasing.

He's growing up... beautifully. I remember the day I walked into his room in the morning and he was standing up for the first time holding onto the crib rails with a big grin of accomplishment on his face. It took me all of a minute to grab my camera and record it for posterity, but I didn't really need to. Closing my eyes, I can still see that sweet face smiling at me.

His manners are also improving. I wrote improving, after all he is a boy and a child, but yesterday I didn't need to remind him to hold open the door for Bubbi and to say thank you. We stopped in a gallery and DB stood talking to the owner about Chagall, texture and color and how he paints. He is so grown up for a little munch, but the next moment he was discussing who is a stronger alien in the cartoon Ben 10 (tv show he watches with his dad), and acting out what the character does.

He's a special boy, and I'm so lucky to be his mom. I hope all you other mom's (including mr. moms) enjoy your children and have a Happy Mother's Day.

By My Side....

The look on his face filled with guileless love
cannot be contained in his hug
or in my heart.

His eyes close
and his breathing slows


I kiss his forehead and
wish him every joy
Thankful he's my boy

Smudged with dirt
I cannot prevent the hurt
that floods his life

But then I see, in his face
the man that will be
strong in his caring
and I trace
the tear stains

For his little boy
will not suffer like he

the pain will melt away
and stay the memories
when he holds the eggshell of innocence
tenderly in his love

Boy, Am I Happy!

That's right I'm happy... grinning from ear to ear... DB is back. I missed him soooooo much. Having him in my arms made the world right.

I picked him up from his father's and then off we went back to Kansas. That's a lot of driving for one day and I wished that I could take a nap just like DB did within a half hour of us being on the road. Looking at his sleeping face in the rearview mirror almost brought me to tears. Just beneath the surface of that big boy face, I could see the little baby one that I used to look at sleeping in his crib... the sweet chin... the dark lashes brushing his cheeks. I wish I could take care of him and protect him from the world, but that's not possible. Instead I hope that I am giving him the strength, resilience, and confidence that he can get through anything and still find the joy and beauty that the world has to offer.

When we got to Kansas he behaved so beautifully, held the door for Zaidy when he was bringing in groceries. Said thank you to Saba for the new pin for his baseball hat. (It's a Marine baseball hat heavy with ribbons and pins that my dad gives to him each time we're down. OORAH!!!)
And made sure to give Bubbi tons of hugs and kisses.

Boy, do I love this boy!!



DATING UPDATE:

There's a new guy to add to the field and he lives in Denver but is willing to relocate. WOW! I can't believe that there are now two guys willing to relocate. Denver is extremely intelligent, but I don't know if a spark is there or not. I've spoken to him a couple of times now. In CR terms, that means at least an hour conversation each time. He's very well read, extremely well read, and has a love of books that rivals mine including science fiction. And has already sent me an e-mail after we last talked, and will be calling after Yontif even though we've talked about DB and his father and all the issues involved.

NM is still trying to convince me not to relocate, but I've made sure that he understands that it's just going to be one date. He wants it to take place as soon as possible. So maybe even this coming Wednesday night. We've been speaking several times a day. I am not the one doing the calling he is.

Mr. Willing wrote me before Pesach that he is going away, but will contact me as soon as he's back.

It's difficult keeping track of everyone. It helps to write it down. I'm thinking of putting my picture under password again. I'm really not that great at juggling, and I can't remember who I've told what to. Bud's been great, and he's really helping me focus on what's important. Gotta love The Buuuuuud.

One happy mom saying, Good Yontif, Chag Sameach, and all that stuff...... :)

Make Way For......

While driving db (darling boy) to school this morning, we had an unexpected stop. Eight turkeys were crossing the street. At the corner, no less, and continuing their stroll on the sidewalk! I had to pull over so we could watch and so I could listen to db giggle over the way they walked. (I thank Hashem for little moments like these.) Then we remembered how one turkey was outside of school at pick up time with the rest of the children waiting for carpool. We didn't see what kind of minivan his mom drove... ha ha :)

How often do you have to stop for animals in the street? Well if you're me, quite a few in your lifetime.

1. The first time that I recall was a fawn slowly walking in the street while I was driving to work (not in oz... http://http//dreamsofwho.blogspot.com/2007/01/not-in-kansas-anymore.html).
   
2. The mommy ground hog picking up her babies and taking them into the woods from the busy 4 lane street at rush hour (also not in oz)
   
3. The chicken in the middle of the road (Why was he crossing? hee hee) during a downpour on a major thruway (6 lanes) in the Bronx. Traffic was stopped ahead of me because of the red light so I got out of my car, picked up the chicken and put him on the other side.
   
4. The doe and her fawn near db's school.
   
5. and now the turkeys.

It's amazing to see these animals up close, but it reminds me of the reason that this takes place. We are encroaching on their homes. They have nowhere else to go when we cut down the forests. So if you live in a new development, keep your eyes open and drive carefully. You might have more "neighbors" than you think.

btw: these pictures were taken in November across the street from db's school

Existential Son

The existential son has come up with the solution to his problem. The problem being his yearlong quest to find out who/what created Hashem.

We're driving over the GW and I comment on the many colors in the sunset and isn't it amazing that not only has Hashem created beauty in nature, but the lights starting to sparkle in the city buildings are also beautiful. He's quiet so I'm not even sure that he heard me. The next thing I know his voice pops up and says "When I die and go to shmayim I'm going to ask Hashem who created him. Then I will finally know." He continued with, "Becuuuuzz , it just doesn't makes sense." And with great emphasis added "It doesn't follow the laws of physics."

I had to choke back my laughter. He reiterated that the fact that no one created Hashem goes against the laws of science. I had to agree with him. Then I gave him my standard comment when he brings this up. "It's very hard to understand and even adults have problems comprehending this." I have yet to discover a different way to handle this. I had/have these questions sometimes myself, but it didn't start until I was around 11 or 12 years old. He started asking this when he was seven and has been completely frustrated with me for still not having "the answer" for him.

Usually, if I don't know the answer to something he asks I'll tell him so and then say that we should look it up. That's how I have ended up with an extensive knowledge of dinosaurs, geodes, minerals, spiders, Benjamin Franklin(one of his idols along with spiderman) and the revolutionary and civil wars. But I can't look this up in the encyclopedia or google this with him.

Help, anyone?!?!?!?