Wednesday, December 31, 2014

I'm back.  I need to write or rather I should write.  I know it will help with adjusting to getting divorced, and I know it will definitely help get me started writing some poetry for my class.  I've got an incomplete because the professor is cool and I told him what was going on.  I definitely learned a lot from him about poetry and got to meet some amazing poets.  Tracey K. Smith, Pulitzer Prize winner, to name one.

I'm lonely, but I don't think I'm necessarily lonely for him.  I'm lonely for the good times with him, but then I get to remember they were few and far between.  My therapist gave me a wake-up call, when I was telling her how things had started to get a little better before he left and that he was no occasionally saying thank you.  Ummmm, yeah..... married five years and only at the end of five years occasionally saying thank you.  I know I deserve something better than this.  I deserve to be appreciated and loved.  I think I might have a case of Stockholm syndrome.  No joke.  I have changed my way of thinking so that I could better adapt to living with him.  It's time to change it back!

I'm not sure if I'm going to stay an active member of this frum jewish divorce group.  I think they are focusing, or rather most of the posts are focusing, on the negative, and I need to focus on the positive.  Much better for me, and def better for db.