Over My Shoulder

Mr. Rose is sitting next to me as I write. He has access to my blog, but doesn't visit. He wants to give me my privacy. Anyway, I was showing him something and he noticed that in my "about me" it stated that I was thirty-something. Oh boy! He kinda got on me about that. I turned 40 a couple months back.

The funny thing is that when Mr. Rose would first answer his friends questions about me he made me 40. He didn't want people to think there was that great an age difference. Not that it feels like there is any disparity in the way we view the world because of how old we are. Soooooo... I kinda got on him about making me older and he's now returning the favor.

He knows how I feel about honesty too. So there you go.... I'm 40. Of course, I still act like I'm 16.

btw- Mr. Rose just turned another year older himself this week. I think that might be the reason for his even noticing the age thing. ttytt-I don't even notice the age difference, BUT I love to tease him about it.

one more thing Mr. Rose just realized why the post wasn't posting... it said pm not am. Ya just gotta love the man!!!!!

Busy, Busy, Busy...

Most definitely not G rated:
But definitely entertaining

Sooooo sooooooo much has been going on this week, and I haven't had that much time to write about it. Here goes...

1) I drove back and forth to Kansas three times in three days if I've counted it right. My brain is just a little fried from being so tired. And I'm so tired because on Monday I moved a dining room set, credenza and another table out of my great-uncle's non-air conditioned house. Yes, it was about 99 degrees without the heat index. So I took everything a part and actually moved the credenza myself on a dolly. My dad helped me tilt it into the truck so I could pull it up and put it in.

Then I drove the truck back to Oz, and unloaded everything. I did get a little help with the top of the dining room table. I'm a little achy now from all the hard work. And I still need to screw everything back together. But at least I unpacked.

2) Chassidish came over last night and we behaved ourselves... as difficult as it was. He stayed awhile so I didn't get to sleep until late

3) The night before that when I was in Kansas I spent a long time sending messages back and forth to Confused Guy (named by rebel with a cause) who doesn't seem so confused anymore and Teen. I'm calling him that because even though he's a little older (Bud thinks he may be too old for me) he acts and talks young. I don't mean immature, just young and full of life.

4) Someone from Frumster contacted me. Not what you're thinking... someone who works for Frumster. He said that he read my blog and would I let him know my identity. It made me feel like a spy. I told him no and asked why. He wanted to get my input about Frumster and any suggestions I might have. I sent him some and if any of you out there have specific things you want added or changed let me know and I'll pass it along.

But really, after writing about what happened with Bud and now Chassidish did he really think I was going to tell him who I was. He probably would have had me kicked off of Frumster. Do they actually do that?

5) I was also up late this past week working on the trial. Of course, the dates have been changed and there isn't even going to be a pre-trial conference tomorrow. C'est la vie. What can I do? Nothing, so I've chosen not to worry about it and instead take care of the baby again tomorrow.

Now for the unbelievable story.....
I got a phone call last night from a guy I know through frumster. No, I am most definitely not saying who it is because of what he asked. Ok, ok, I'll tell you what he asked... He prefaced it by stating that he never wanted me to speak of it again after our conversation. My ears really perked up then. I answered, "of course" and was quiet waiting for the bomb to drop.

AND THEN IT DID!!! OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH!! OMIGOSH!!!!

He said "How would you like to come out with me tonight to a 'couple's club'?" Then there was silence. I think he wanted to let it sink in. At first I wasn't sure what he meant, but since he was still quiet I realized that it was what I thought it was.... a swinger's club.

HOLY MOLEY!!!! ABSOLUTELY FRIGGIN' UNBELIEVABLE!!! WHOA!!!!!

I didn't know if I should be insulted or not. Then I started thinking about it.... I was curious. C'mon I'm sure that you've all heard of these things going on, but have never been a part of it or known where it was taking place.

Anyway, he broke first and said "Did you understand me?"
"I sure did. What the hell are you thinking??" and then I cracked up and couldn't stop laughing. My stomach started to hurt I was laughing sooo hard. It takes a lot to insult me. Well, obviously.
When I finally started to get quiet he asked me if I would be willing to go. The curiosity really started to get to me. I have this unsatiable desire to find out and learn and see new things and ideas. I really did seriously contemplate it. No, I wasn't going to participate. I just wanted to see for myself. I mean really, it would have made a great story.

But two things prevented me from going: Chassidish was already on his way over, and I didn't feel comfortable going with this guy (the one who asked me, not Chassidish) in particular. Soooo the answer was no. But if he ever asks again.......

I'm supposed to talk to CG and Teen tonight. We'll see how it goes. btw- both are willing to relocate.

Happy News:
Pen went out this week with a really nice girl and they got along great. We've been staying in touch mostly by e-mail and talking about our different dates. There's no flirting going on which makes it easy and comfortable. I'm sooooo happy for him. He's a sweet guy and deserves someone who realizes it and is just as caring. I wish the same for any of us who are single out there.

Back In The Saddle Again

Yup, I started talking (I mean writing, but as I explained before I write as if I'm talking) to some new guys on Frumster. Actually I contacted ten guys last night. Yes, TEN guys. I also started writing "Looking forward to hearing from you either way" at the end of my messages. Either I am getting better at choosing whom to contact or adding that sentence reminds people to write back.

Three of the guys were younger than I am even though one was only a year younger. He was the one who wrote back that he is only dating women younger than he is because he wants to have a lot more kids. Either that's a soft brushoff or he really means it. Doesn't he realize that even though someone is younger it doesn't necessarily mean that it will be easier for her to get pregnant. Even if she has a child there is such a thing as secondary infertility. You guys should be aware of this. And if she hasn't had a child yet, whose to say that it will be easy for her to get pregnant.

Another one of the younger ones was a good five years younger, but he was intelligent, funny, well read and his personality really appealed to me. He even had the courtesy to reply and he did that beautifully.

I wrote to a guy who appeared to be "frummer" than I am. He also had manners and wrote back. Although he jokingly disagreed with my taste in music, he thought it wouldn't be a good fit.

The first one who wrote back didn't have too much to say for himself. There was some back and forth but we didn't seem to click. I wrote the last message and still haven't heard from him even though he's been back on Frumster sooo that kind of fizzled. I was willing to at least go out with him on one date because maybe his stiltedness only takes place in his writing.

The next one had even less to say, but we just started writing to each other. Maybe he'll loosen up. I'm willing to give him a chance. Hell, I'm willing to give just about anyone a chance except for the guys 10-15 years younger than I am.

Now here's the real deal: I feel a connection with two of the guys/men who wrote back. The first one is a real Prince and although that sounds like a dog's name I'm going to call him that in my blog. Prince is divorced without kids and he's an Ozian, Ozan, Ozzer (some help here... what would you call someone born and bred in Oz). We've been talking (writing) about the different activities that we like to do and have in common. There's already been some tentative mentioning of getting together with the idea that he will teach me how to kayak. Cool!!! He's cute too (when he's wearing a baseball hat) or should I handsome (in a black hat). I don't really but much stock in labels and just try to go with personality.

Then there's the Knicks fan. We've only just started to correspond, but his personality jumps off the screen at me. He's also someone who follows his dreams. I think I'll call him Mr. B-Ball.




Now here's an update on Denver and Willing:

It appears Denver will be in Oz in two weeks. He only has one day free to spend with me and that sounds fine. I don't feel responsible for his visit or spend more time with him than I might possibly feel comfortable with. I want to see if there's some chemistry, and if he feels more at ease with me in person. I'm even willing to go out with him on a second date to really give him a chance. I'll keep you posted.

Willing wrote to me that he wants my undivided attention. He knows that I've been extremely busy with divorce stuff and I told him I would let him know if and when I might be willing/able to give that to him. I'm supposed to do this by tomorrow. I think that the only thing I can say is that since I'm going to be going to trial in the middle of the summer it might not be possible until after Labor Day.





I just realized that I never explained why I contacted TEN guys. I figured that most of them wouldn't respond and that I might not click with some others. Plus all of these guys have viewed my profile a couple of times within the past week and haven't made a single move. It looked like it was up to me to break the ice and I did.

It all started with me writing good-bye messages to people I had been in contact with, but just stopped writing to me. It really made me feel empowered. Another lesson learned. All it said in my message was that it was nice getting to know them and I wished them well. The subject line was goodbye. I wanted to make sure that they read it and knew that I wasn't chasing after them.

Since I felt so confident I decided to keep on writing. This time to people I was interested in. I'm glad I did. Talk about positive reinforcement. Then having Pen and Chassidish contact me again also helped my ego. Things have definitely shifted with Pen there's now a feeling of friendship not attraction. Chassidish is another issue. He just has such a great smile that draws me to him. But he also found someone to write to last night so we will lay off on messaging each other. I'm very proud of myself that I haven't even given him my reg. e-mail address or my phone number. Yay for me!!!

Feels Like Home

Yup, I packed up and drove us to Kansas again. As I was driving down I mentioned to DB that the books I just bought for him came from a store on the way and that some of them only cost fifty cents. "Please, mom, please can we stop. I can pay you back. I have allowance money." I can't resist a child who wants to go buy some books so we stopped. I let him pick out anything he wanted and told him he didn't have to pay me back. It only cost me about four bucks and he had a grin that wouldn't leave his face for the last hour of the drive.

Shavuos was fantastic.... relaxed, laid back, learning with DB, cheesecake, eating outside in the shade with about thirty family members who were all happy to spend time together... and that was only the first day. DB looked gorgeous in his linen shorts and shirt. The sweater vest he wore reminded me of a tennis sweater. His hair is getting blonder from all the time he has been spending outside in Kansas. The family that moved in next door to Bubbi has a little boy the same age. They have completely hit it off and are now best buddies and enjoy playing in the grass with their guns, cannons, lasers, arrows, spears (you get the picture... they're little boys) they make out of Kinex, Lego, branches and anything else they get their hands on.

Today's lunch was with other family members. Cousins upon cousins. They came back with us and brought some friends. We played $25,000 pyramid again. I thought I would get some sleep but they dragged me downstairs in my pajamas to fight over which team I was going to join. The little ones ran in and out of the house from the swing set to the freezer (popsicles) and back again. I really couldn't have asked for anything nicer except maybe someone special to share this with me.

Which brings me to the two new guys I wrote to on Frumster. Chassidish has a smile that beams sunshine into your life. I had noticed him before, but never wrote to him... he's younger and I wasn't sure if I wanted to initiate contact when I have stuff going on with Denver and Willing. But I'm a sucker for smiling eyes and boy does he have them. Mon. night I just couldn't resist any longer...

Chassidish wrote back immediately and we stayed up late writing back and forth to one another only for me to find out that he is not able to relocate to Kansas. He seemed as disappointed as I was and sort of left the door open for me to start something anyway. I just wished him well and told him that if I knew of anyone for him I would send her his way. He said he would do the same for me.

Disappointed I checked out the other people who were still up and found Geek. A description he used of himself. There wasn't a picture and he is three years younger, but when I read his profile I smiled. I decided to save time and came right out and asked him if he dates older women. Geek wrote back before yontif and is thinking about it. He's not sure about a ready made family, but since he felt a connection with me he's considering dating me. This was without him even seeing my picture. Wow! I got to see his and he doesn't look like any geek I've ever met. I'm not sure what will happen, but I am looking forward to getting to know him better. I'm much more interested in him than in Denver and Willing... there was just something about his writing that appealed to me even before I saw his picture.

Happy Half Birthday To Me

It started when I was 5 1/2 years old. Well, most likely before I was 5 1/2. I remember asking my mother when the day would come that I could finally claim there was only 6 months left to being five... less than 6 months to being a 6 year old.... which in my eyes meant grown up, first grade, homework, the big school, sitting at desks....

I have remembered that day ever since. March 26. Believe it or not there have been occasions, twice, that I forgot my b-day, but not my half birthday.Once was when I was out of the country and had been celebrating it before I left the States non-stop. The other time happened during this craziness of divorce. There was just so much going on that I didn't remember until I finally had a chance to return my mother's phone call and was serenaded. "Happy Birthday to you....."

Gretel's birthday took place on Shabbos. She is 6 months older than I and going through her reluctance to be called a year older helps me deal with it. By the time September rolls around I've accepted the change in numbers, and am looking forward to celebrating it.

Age isn't that much of a determining factor in relationships for me. I've dated guys who were older, younger and even my own age. The biggest difference was a five year gap and I was the elder. Charm is younger than I am and it doesn't make a difference. I was even contacted on Frumster by an FM 10 years my junior. We're not dating, but have become friendly. And yes, when I wrote back to him I made mention of the age diff. But, it didn't bother him. Of course not, as he wrote "I'm not proposing." Well, he wasn't proposing marriage, but rather other things (that haven't taken place). I didn't know I could be attractive to someone who was that much younger. Hey! I don't mind getting older. Bring on September.