If The Name Fits

...and it does. Mr. Rose is a "Good Man." I was re-reading old posts last night and realized that Mr. Rose most definitely fits the bill. I even called him up and read it to him. He started laughing and said that I was describing him. WOW!!! I found one. I knew they existed somewhere in the dating jungle, but I just didn't know where they were hiding.

The thing is (drum roll please) he's not from Oz. Nothing against y'all from the Emerald City, but this Dorothy likes them from hills. Well, at least I like this one from the hills. And yes, I really, and I mean really, like him. OK, OK, I guess it's time for me to finally say it... I like him a lot!! Psych!!!

Fine I'll say it. The words that I am dancing around are... I love him.

You heard it here first. I love Mr. Rose. I didn't plan on it happening, but it did just the same. The man has won my heart... completely. And here comes the kicker, I don't just love him, I'm in love with him. He makes me feel beautiful, safe and loved. I trust him. I know that I've written it before about him in my blog, but the love just grows. This love feels like it's settling in my heart or maybe putting in roots. It's simple and strong.

It's so funny how with the other men I dated it was so easy for me to write that I might love them, but now with him it's different. It's just so personal. It's something special. UGH!!! That sounds so trite and just... UGH!!! What I'm trying to say is that it's, it's something that just he and I share.

I don't know if I'm making any sense. Some of you might understand. Anyway, that's also why I haven't written about our sex life. Kind of weird, isn't it? I will say this. His kisses make me disappear, chills run down my spine and my skin burns at his touch. I've never felt like this before. No man has ever, ever made me feel like this. I'm just so glad that it's him because otherwise I'd have a problem... hee hee ;)

Tears and Laughter

I'm an emotional person. No duh, CR. What I mean is that I don't cry at the drop of a hat, but when I do I actually experience the sadness. OK, this is not making sense. What I'm trying to say is that I feel my feelings. How's that one? Yeah, yeah, just as bad. Maybe the point I'm trying to get across is that I don't need to dwell...

Anyway, today I went for a little ride down the hill of tears and then up to the clouds of giggles. Of course, Bud happened to call when I was just starting to cry. I feel bad for guys when a girl starts to cry. They just don't know what to do or what to say. Well, not all of them. It's just that you can hear their discomfort in the silence while you sob. Bud dealt with it pretty well. He let me talk, then sniffle, talk some more, really start to sob, laugh, then talk some more. That's all a woman really wants when she's feeling down. At least, that's what I want, plus a hug if possible. Not someone to solve my problems just someone to listen.

Now about that laughing in the middle of crying part... by now, you guys know that I'm weird, strange, unusual or whatever word you'd like to use to describe me. A small part of of this eccentricity is my tendency or ability to laugh when I cry. I think it's because I really don't like to be sad and if I can find some absurdity about my situation then I'll laugh at it. I might start crying again, but I would much rather be happy than have tears sliding down my cheeks.

Bud didn't have to deal with my tears for long and when we spoke later tonight I was happy and life was back in perspective again. It's taken me such a long time to learn how to let things go and move on. What would have taken a week or two several years ago only takes 1/2 hour now.

And of course, since DB was with me I really couldn't be sad for long. The tears ended (DB is never privy to them) and we had a pizza party in the succa. Then we went bowling with Saba. I WON! I got a strike on top of a spare, and then I did a little dance down the lane (enough to embarrass DB). He wasn't too shy to show us a few of his moves when he managed to get all ten pins down. Gotta love the boy, he shakes his tush just like his mom.

On the way home Saba started talking about his Polaroid lenses on his new sunglasses. DB and I were giggling and then broke into full out laughter. Finally Saba realized that his new glasses are polarized, and by then he was cracking up too.

It all works out in the end.