He Remembers

I have two dates coming up this week, and neither is with him.  Both of the men were easy to talk to on the phone even if they are completely different.  And of course neither of them are him.

But then again no one could be him.  He actually listens to me and remembers.  This from a man who really, yes, really, doesn't remember things.  He doesn't say my name anymore, but a part of that is because I asked him not to.  Now, I asked him not to about a week and a half ago, and in our relationship with all the ups and downs that's like millenniums passing.  Yet, he remembered.

He said my name today and it touched me, and then he called me by a nickname that he doesn't use.  WHOA! No way, buddy boy!! That just sounds horribly wrong coming out of your mouth.  I'd rather you not call me anything or even "Hey, you."

I'm lucky.  He's my friend.  He wants to be my friend.  I want him as a friend.  Of course (yes, those two words were for him) we both want more.  Not sure if/how that will ever be able to work, and in the meantime I'm all over the place emotionally.

He makes me happy.  He makes me smile.  He's proud of me.  That kind of blows my mind.

I miss him.  I want him.  I love being in his arms.  I love laughing with him, being frustrated with him, and loving him.