Thursday, August 20, 2015

Ups And Downs

Yup.  Did it again.  Said something I shouldn't have.  Felt something that I know better than to feel.  Wish I weren't so stupid sometimes.  You would think that I would know better by now.  Yeah, right.  CR, you never learn.

Fine, so I will learn.  I won't let anyone through or invite them in - which is a better description of my behavior.  There's a reason people build walls, and I need to brick mine back up after I reinforce it with rebar and concrete.

I guess, I deserve it.  Actually, I know I deserve it.

I don't like hurting.  And I don't like feeling so stupid.

Saw some old friends this week and told them about the second divorce.  They were sorry, and I told them that they most certainly should not feel that way since I don't.  Then they mentioned that I would find someone and that they had friends who got married for the 3rd time implying that the same would happen to me.  Well, it wasn't really implied because they straight out said some nice things about me and that because I'm like that they know that I would marry again... but this time the right man.

Ummmmmm.... NO FREAKING WAY!!!!!!  I have informed my neighbors, friends, and family that if I even contemplate it, to stop me.  I'm obviously not good at picking men.  Just take a look at this blog through the years.

I shouldn't even be talking to men.  It's just that... Nope, no rationalizations or justifications.

There are just some things I'm not good at. Computers are obviously the right field for me.

It's just sad

I'm sad

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