When...

When your child is falling to pieces, when you are the only one he can talk to, when the man you want has no clue - not because he's oblivious, but because you have have no energy to go into detail to explain, and you just want life to be better for a minute or two....

When you are almost too tired for tears, and you can't cry anyway because it will scare your child or he will blame himself, when your life is changing around you, and goodbye is a new beginning.

The rain begins with
an opened window smelling  of wet ground
little drops hitting steel softly
swoosh of the street
clean and sparkling asphalt
bring calm on the surface
or underneath  or wherever there is room between
the hurt, the cries, the promises and
emptiness.

the whirlpool of spring sweetens the pain
to unbearable and eyes close with the hope of staying shut