Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Not Enough Hours In The Day

Might not have that much time to write for the next couple of days/weeks. The trial is coming up and I also have to get in some paperwork on the appeal.

I was contacted by someone new. Actually, he contacted me a long time ago. I've been on Frumster for several years, but I didn't have a picture up or really write about who I am, because I didn't really have the interest or energy. I recently updated it. So... this new/old guy wrote me. I immediately informed him that I am relocating to Kansas and even though it says he's willing to relocate I've come to find that that refers to only within different neighborhoods in Jersey and NY. He writes back that it won't work.

This morning I get another message. He's changed his mind after staying up all night, and speaking to some rebbeim. Because his ex and her new hubby are relocating with the kids also.

Cool... but was he joking around when he wrote that he contacted 5 different rebbeim? And if so, do I really want to go out with someone like that? I respect that if he feels he has a life changing decision he would like to talk it over with someone. But five someones?!?!?

Update on Chassidish:
We are just having too much fun together. We haven't seen each other since that Shabbos because it would have been very difficult (did I say very, I meant extremely.... nope, what I meant was basically impossible) to keep our hands off each other and I'm in niddah. But we've been speaking on the phone a lot. We are also encouraging one another to answer messages and go on dates. But in the meantime.... Sunday night is mikva night! Yahoo!!!!

btw-need a name for the new guy, any suggestions??


socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Five rabbis does sound like alot he should have already gone for a minyan lol.

rebelwithacause said...

How about "confused guy". He has to consult 5 people to decide? Sheesh.

come running said...

maybe he did try for a minyan ;)

thanks for the help, and that's what I will call him. I added you to my blogroll. Would you do the same? tia

Not So Frum Guy said...

I am trying to understand why you are concerned about nidda.
At the time you wrote this you did not yet have a get, so you were still halachiclly married. That would mean sex with Chassidish would incur the death penalty. (If the Sanhedrin were in existance today, anyway.) Nidda on the other hand is "only" kuras (usually translated as premature death). So what's the difference? Were you anticipating getting a get by Sunday night?
BTW, I am under the impression that mivka only helps for married couples.
Please do not take this as criticism, I would just like to understand your thinking.

come running said...

Maybe I wasn't so clear... and perhaps you haven't read all the posts. I've had my get now for 6 years.

I also want to let you know that I asked a shaila about going to mikva and was told not to have intercourse, but if I knew that it was definitely going to take place then I should jump in a lake. I mean it. That's what I was told. Finally, I was instructed to go to a mikva where no one knew me, and act like I was married.

Is there some way to act like a married or unmarried person?????

NSFG said...

>I've had my get now for 6 years.
My apologies, I should have read your previous posts.
>then I should jump in a lake
A BP Rabbi with a sense of humor? Now there's something you don't see every day! LOL

>Is there some way to act like a married or unmarried person?????
Act happy :-)
In my experience, while not *all* married people are happy, many are while most unmarried people are not. YMMV
Anyway have fun, and please keep us posted. :-)

come running said...

not a bp rabbi, someone very chashuv and no, I wasn't embarassed about asking.

and just to let you know, I'm single, going through a horrible divorce (understatement)and almost always a very happy person... and laugh even when I cry... I didn't say that I wasn't weird.

Passionate/Mellow Life said...

You wrote:

"I've been on Frumster for several years, but I didn't have a picture up or really write about who I am, because I didn't really have the interest or energy. I recently updated it."

Come on CR, that is so important! If you are looking for quality people how are they supposed to find you if you don't have a profile that reflects who you are and what you are looking for stated in a unique way that differentiates you from the other 20,000 singles there?

You are a great writer and have written some really magnificent posts. I am sure that you could write an A+ profile that will have those truly amazing guys com knockin on your door.

I hope the update reflects your uniqueness and special qualities. Its worth putting in a couple of hours of effort. It may pay off in spades! ;-)

Passionate/Mellow Life said...


That is incorrect and a very common misunderstanding. The laws of Niddah have nothing to do with marriage. They apply at ALL times. In most common circumstances they are more likely to be part of a married couples concerns, but not exclusively.

While I am not condoning pre-marital sex, if its going to happen, one should absolutely use the mikvah and turn it from a Dorisa (Biblical prohibition) into a Drabanan (Rabbinical prohibition).

come running said...

I did update my profile. That's what got Bud/Charm interested. I think it's also what draws some of the other guys... especially when I don't have my pic up.

I decided to make it available because guys are very visually oriented.

"It's worth putting in a couple hours of effort."
Actually, when I updated it the words just started to flow and it took maybe a half hour. I really do need to go back and re-read it. Thanks for the push.

btw-thanks for the compliment on the blog

nsfg said...

Your attitude is extraordinary, I am happy for you.
I wish you much Hatzlacho!

I'm sure I'm far more weird than you! LOL

come running said...

don't be so sure...

Anonymous said...

im a new reader here... are you orthodox? youre talking about mikvah and stuff, but youre certainly not acting like the orthodox people i know. im not trying to judge, just to understand. im writing from israel, where its late, so please understand.

i also dont understand what your rabbi said that if you dont have sex, then you can do anything else even though you are a nidda, if you dont go to the mikva. do you now that touching "derech chiba" with a nidda is assur deoraissa? so is hugging, kissing, and doing any other "Activities" that you might have up your sleeve. i really dont understand that psak

come running said...

I do consider myself orthodox... shomer shabbos, shomer kashrus etc.,

I wrote what my rav said. You don't have to understand his psak. He does not condone my behavior but was trying to make sure that what would take place would be the lesser of evils. He said NOT to go to the mikva and do everything but. That not going to the mikva was best.

I'm sure that the orthodox people you know do not discuss their sex lives. At least it sounds like it from what you wrote.... so you don't know what is going on behind closed doors.