Falling.... For Flowers

I love flowers. I really do. I love paintings of flowers and knowing the different types by names and what time of year they bloom. I love open fields blanketed in rainbows gone wild.... I love giving them, planting them, picking them, and arranging them. I love the smiles that appear on strangers faces when you walk down the street with a bouquet.... but being given flowers is what I love the most (even more so if they're unexpected).

In the summer, DB picks dandelions by the handful and brings them to me. When we're in "Kansas" and he's through playing in the dirt searching for fossils and bugs in Bubbi's backyard he'll pick some of the flowers from her garden. They peek out from behind his back and he tells me to quickly shut my eyes. "NO PEEKING!" When I open them he has a beatific smile on his sweaty face and with his arm thrust straight out says "These are for you Mommy. Smell them." After I take them from his grubby hand, I sniff deeply, bend down, look in his eyes and tell him that they are the most beautiful and best smelling flowers ever, ever. I give him a hug and a kiss, and the aroma of the fresh cut grass sticking to his skin drifts around us. He wriggles out of my arms while I brush his hair back and dust the dirt off his knees. Then off he goes with a skip in his step, his chest stuck out proud, searching for more.

The thoughts of flowers came to mind because Charm brought me some. No, he didn't bring them as an apology. He most definitely hadn't done something wrong. And no, it wasn't my birthday, and wasn't a "Happy Anniversary, we've been dating for three months" because it hasn't even been three months. It wasn't because I was feeling down.... I've been me... very happy (since I realized what was bugging me and I let it go ). And it was most certainly not because he was "trying to get lucky"..... he knew very well he would be getting lucky (it was mikvah night). BOY, did he get lucky.... And he didn't even tell me he was bringing me something.

I haven't gotten flowers from someone over the age of eight.... in years and years.... never got them for my birthday, anniversaries, Shavuos, when I was sick, and not even when DB was born. In order to have flowers for Shabbos, I would have to go out and buy them. Yes, I dropped hints, subtle and not so subtle, but it didn't work. UGH!!!! It sounds so.... so pathetic. That's a good description for the marriage. Let's stop talking about that and get back to the fact that I GOT FLOWERS!!!!! YAY!!!!!

You wouldn't believe how I felt. I was kind of surprised at how it touched me. The flowers made me feel thought of, special, feminine, and un-mommylike. Getting a little teary just thinking about it. Yeah, yeah it's just flowers, but it means more to me than just that.... plus, I'm a girl and we are allowed to get emotional and NOOOOO!!! I'm not "pms"ing.

It's these little things that Charm does like open the door for me, comment on what I'm wearing, give me chocolate (godiva chocolate, no less) and bring me flowers. "He likes me, he really likes me" OK, I know I'm sounding kind of dorky and mushy and well......

Am I falling....... just because of........ flowers??