That's what DB said about Regina Spektor. And when I asked him why he answered "because everyone wants to buy her music." DB assumed that since he enjoys her music so much everyone else (in the world) does too.
DB is starting to acquire his own taste in music.... eclectic like his mom's. He likes Matisyahu but there are times when he asks me to put on "the other reggae music not the Jewish one." He is referring to Bob Marley. It's not that I don't play kids music for him (Rafi, Uncle Moishy, Sesame Street....) It's that I play all kinds of music for him including classical and yes, even opera. I love it when he tells me that a piece is "fun" or "scary."
But lately we've been enjoying Regina. He's been humming and singing her songs to himself while playing and doing homework. The first time I had her most recent CD playing DB looked up from his legos and said "She's got taste, Mommy." When I asked him what he meant I discovered that he thought she was "original, and cool." I've got to agree with him and he's not the only one who has been singing along. She kept us entertained during the ride to Kansas and back.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
Another Great Day
And boy am I enjoying them.
It's so relaxing to be in Kansas for me and DB. He has been so helpful and I haven't even had to remind him to get out of the bath, brush his teeth, say shema..... AND I didn't have to sit on his bed or even stay in his room until he fell asleep!!!!! HOORAY!!!!! I imagine that part of the reason for this is that he feels safe and loved here.
There wasn't even any whining today even though the temp was in the 90's, we spent a lot of time outside, didn't get to go swimming, and he didn't get to buy the tadpoles that he "really, really, really" wanted. While we were at the nursery choosing flowers to plant he was reaching into the water to grab the squirmy things and take a look at their legs. I'm also surprised that he didn't complain when he didn't get a snowball for dessert tonight.
For everyone who lives in Oz and anywhere that's not Kansas, a snowball is very finely crushed ice with a flavored syrup poured over it. They're in a styrofoam cup to slow down it's melting, and are eaten with a spoon until there's only colored liquid left at the bottom which you drink while trying not to spill it down your shirt. You can also get marshmallow put on top for an extra 25 cents.
It's the true taste of summer... sky blue-can't really explain this flavor, but it's not blueberry or raspberry or any berry, and ooooooh, yummy chocolate with extra squirts and marshmallow on top. For all you calorie conscious people there are even an assortment of sugar free flavors. The whole thing in an extra large size with extra flavoring is about two bucks and worth every penny. There are always lines outside of snowball shacks no matter what time of day and the adults smile at one another while the children seriously debate which flavor changes the color of their tongues and tastes the best.
I want to clarify that a snowball is most definitely not a snow cone that has only three flavors and hard crunchy ice that melts through the paper cone before you've even gotten halfway through it. I am looking forward to standing in line tomorrow and trying to decide whether to stick with one of my old favorites or try bubblegum or even root beer. That reminds me of birch beer, but I'll get into that another time.
Dating Update:
Have been speaking to Denver, but I'm finding that I really don't enjoy our conversations as much. BUT-- I am still willing to go out with him... so when I get back to Oz we are going to arrange a weekend to get together. The thing is I don't want to commit an entire weekend to one person. I usually do a lot of work on the case and around the house when DB isn't with me, not to mention having some down time from people who want something from me i.e. DB, my attorney, the kids I take care of.....
I'm also supposed to have a date with Willing, and I am going to follow through on that too. It's just that I like Geek ( a lot). I'm enjoying our e-mails and am looking forward to hearing his voice. He's intelligent and feels comfortable joking around... we're also on the same page about actual halacha and invented chumras upon chumras.
I know that I am projecting certain feelings that I have for him and I am trying to keep a lid on it. You've heard me get excited (well, actually read) in the beginning about every guy I communicate with. I don't know if it's because 1) I really just like guys 2) it's an ego boost to have someone interested in you 3) the idea that this could be the one. Whatever the reason I have tried to slow things down by not replying or even reading the message the same day I get it. This helps remind me that I control my emotions and not the other way around.
I'm really proud of myself >>claps<<. I've seen Mr. Man on Frumster recently and have not looked at his profile or contacted him in any way.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day and don't forget to thank a soldier if you see one (that's the daughter of a marine talking) Let's get them home and safely
It's so relaxing to be in Kansas for me and DB. He has been so helpful and I haven't even had to remind him to get out of the bath, brush his teeth, say shema..... AND I didn't have to sit on his bed or even stay in his room until he fell asleep!!!!! HOORAY!!!!! I imagine that part of the reason for this is that he feels safe and loved here.
There wasn't even any whining today even though the temp was in the 90's, we spent a lot of time outside, didn't get to go swimming, and he didn't get to buy the tadpoles that he "really, really, really" wanted. While we were at the nursery choosing flowers to plant he was reaching into the water to grab the squirmy things and take a look at their legs. I'm also surprised that he didn't complain when he didn't get a snowball for dessert tonight.
For everyone who lives in Oz and anywhere that's not Kansas, a snowball is very finely crushed ice with a flavored syrup poured over it. They're in a styrofoam cup to slow down it's melting, and are eaten with a spoon until there's only colored liquid left at the bottom which you drink while trying not to spill it down your shirt. You can also get marshmallow put on top for an extra 25 cents.
It's the true taste of summer... sky blue-can't really explain this flavor, but it's not blueberry or raspberry or any berry, and ooooooh, yummy chocolate with extra squirts and marshmallow on top. For all you calorie conscious people there are even an assortment of sugar free flavors. The whole thing in an extra large size with extra flavoring is about two bucks and worth every penny. There are always lines outside of snowball shacks no matter what time of day and the adults smile at one another while the children seriously debate which flavor changes the color of their tongues and tastes the best.
I want to clarify that a snowball is most definitely not a snow cone that has only three flavors and hard crunchy ice that melts through the paper cone before you've even gotten halfway through it. I am looking forward to standing in line tomorrow and trying to decide whether to stick with one of my old favorites or try bubblegum or even root beer. That reminds me of birch beer, but I'll get into that another time.
Dating Update:
Have been speaking to Denver, but I'm finding that I really don't enjoy our conversations as much. BUT-- I am still willing to go out with him... so when I get back to Oz we are going to arrange a weekend to get together. The thing is I don't want to commit an entire weekend to one person. I usually do a lot of work on the case and around the house when DB isn't with me, not to mention having some down time from people who want something from me i.e. DB, my attorney, the kids I take care of.....
I'm also supposed to have a date with Willing, and I am going to follow through on that too. It's just that I like Geek ( a lot). I'm enjoying our e-mails and am looking forward to hearing his voice. He's intelligent and feels comfortable joking around... we're also on the same page about actual halacha and invented chumras upon chumras.
I know that I am projecting certain feelings that I have for him and I am trying to keep a lid on it. You've heard me get excited (well, actually read) in the beginning about every guy I communicate with. I don't know if it's because 1) I really just like guys 2) it's an ego boost to have someone interested in you 3) the idea that this could be the one. Whatever the reason I have tried to slow things down by not replying or even reading the message the same day I get it. This helps remind me that I control my emotions and not the other way around.
I'm really proud of myself >>claps<<. I've seen Mr. Man on Frumster recently and have not looked at his profile or contacted him in any way.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day and don't forget to thank a soldier if you see one (that's the daughter of a marine talking) Let's get them home and safely
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Feels Like Home
Yup, I packed up and drove us to Kansas again. As I was driving down I mentioned to DB that the books I just bought for him came from a store on the way and that some of them only cost fifty cents. "Please, mom, please can we stop. I can pay you back. I have allowance money." I can't resist a child who wants to go buy some books so we stopped. I let him pick out anything he wanted and told him he didn't have to pay me back. It only cost me about four bucks and he had a grin that wouldn't leave his face for the last hour of the drive.
Shavuos was fantastic.... relaxed, laid back, learning with DB, cheesecake, eating outside in the shade with about thirty family members who were all happy to spend time together... and that was only the first day. DB looked gorgeous in his linen shorts and shirt. The sweater vest he wore reminded me of a tennis sweater. His hair is getting blonder from all the time he has been spending outside in Kansas. The family that moved in next door to Bubbi has a little boy the same age. They have completely hit it off and are now best buddies and enjoy playing in the grass with their guns, cannons, lasers, arrows, spears (you get the picture... they're little boys) they make out of Kinex, Lego, branches and anything else they get their hands on.
Today's lunch was with other family members. Cousins upon cousins. They came back with us and brought some friends. We played $25,000 pyramid again. I thought I would get some sleep but they dragged me downstairs in my pajamas to fight over which team I was going to join. The little ones ran in and out of the house from the swing set to the freezer (popsicles) and back again. I really couldn't have asked for anything nicer except maybe someone special to share this with me.
Which brings me to the two new guys I wrote to on Frumster. Chassidish has a smile that beams sunshine into your life. I had noticed him before, but never wrote to him... he's younger and I wasn't sure if I wanted to initiate contact when I have stuff going on with Denver and Willing. But I'm a sucker for smiling eyes and boy does he have them. Mon. night I just couldn't resist any longer...
Chassidish wrote back immediately and we stayed up late writing back and forth to one another only for me to find out that he is not able to relocate to Kansas. He seemed as disappointed as I was and sort of left the door open for me to start something anyway. I just wished him well and told him that if I knew of anyone for him I would send her his way. He said he would do the same for me.
Disappointed I checked out the other people who were still up and found Geek. A description he used of himself. There wasn't a picture and he is three years younger, but when I read his profile I smiled. I decided to save time and came right out and asked him if he dates older women. Geek wrote back before yontif and is thinking about it. He's not sure about a ready made family, but since he felt a connection with me he's considering dating me. This was without him even seeing my picture. Wow! I got to see his and he doesn't look like any geek I've ever met. I'm not sure what will happen, but I am looking forward to getting to know him better. I'm much more interested in him than in Denver and Willing... there was just something about his writing that appealed to me even before I saw his picture.
Shavuos was fantastic.... relaxed, laid back, learning with DB, cheesecake, eating outside in the shade with about thirty family members who were all happy to spend time together... and that was only the first day. DB looked gorgeous in his linen shorts and shirt. The sweater vest he wore reminded me of a tennis sweater. His hair is getting blonder from all the time he has been spending outside in Kansas. The family that moved in next door to Bubbi has a little boy the same age. They have completely hit it off and are now best buddies and enjoy playing in the grass with their guns, cannons, lasers, arrows, spears (you get the picture... they're little boys) they make out of Kinex, Lego, branches and anything else they get their hands on.
Today's lunch was with other family members. Cousins upon cousins. They came back with us and brought some friends. We played $25,000 pyramid again. I thought I would get some sleep but they dragged me downstairs in my pajamas to fight over which team I was going to join. The little ones ran in and out of the house from the swing set to the freezer (popsicles) and back again. I really couldn't have asked for anything nicer except maybe someone special to share this with me.
Which brings me to the two new guys I wrote to on Frumster. Chassidish has a smile that beams sunshine into your life. I had noticed him before, but never wrote to him... he's younger and I wasn't sure if I wanted to initiate contact when I have stuff going on with Denver and Willing. But I'm a sucker for smiling eyes and boy does he have them. Mon. night I just couldn't resist any longer...
Chassidish wrote back immediately and we stayed up late writing back and forth to one another only for me to find out that he is not able to relocate to Kansas. He seemed as disappointed as I was and sort of left the door open for me to start something anyway. I just wished him well and told him that if I knew of anyone for him I would send her his way. He said he would do the same for me.
Disappointed I checked out the other people who were still up and found Geek. A description he used of himself. There wasn't a picture and he is three years younger, but when I read his profile I smiled. I decided to save time and came right out and asked him if he dates older women. Geek wrote back before yontif and is thinking about it. He's not sure about a ready made family, but since he felt a connection with me he's considering dating me. This was without him even seeing my picture. Wow! I got to see his and he doesn't look like any geek I've ever met. I'm not sure what will happen, but I am looking forward to getting to know him better. I'm much more interested in him than in Denver and Willing... there was just something about his writing that appealed to me even before I saw his picture.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Reading About Dating
On the way to and from Kansas this past week I managed to stop at this book outlet. The prices are pretty good, but they were having a sale so they were even better. If you purchased over $15 of books they would take off 50% of your total. That's an invitation I couldn't resist. Plus there were stacks of books for a buck each.... hardcover books. I had a party. I couldn't hold all the books and they were soon spilling out of the basket I was given..... mysteries (for mom), illustrated classics for children (for DB), books about Marines, battles and Israel (for dad)... Every book I purchased (even if it was for someone else) will be read by me eventually, but I'm the only one in the family reading science fiction, the classics, and books about neurodevelopmental dysfunction, auditory processing disorder, dating , marriage and sex in marriage.
Books are my friends. Yes, I have human friends too. But I've always turned to books as a refuge and as enjoyment. I get lost in the words and the worlds become real. I've been an Indian princess (when I was younger), scientists, explorers of strange worlds, architects, doctors and cowboys not to mention a sorceress who can talk to animals, and a wizard of Earthsea. Whenever a movie comes out about a book I read I always hesitate about seeing it. I don't want to see the story changed or the characters look different than how I picture them... but usually my curiosity gets the better of me. Even when there is a picture of one of the characters on the book I try to ignore it and form my own view.
Kinda got sidetracked or maybe not.... I guess it's to be expected that I would also turn to books for information about dating. I've read lots of these books Mars And Venus On A Date, The Kettle The Fish and The Bird, The Everything Dating Book. I feel that I need as much help as possible because I don't want to end up with the same man twice. That is if I (want to) get married again. Yes, I know that's cynical. Maybe I'm thinking that way as a protection in case it ends up happening (that I don't get married). Deep down I know I would love to spend the rest of my life with someone. I want to share what I love with someone and be quiet with them in front of a fire on a rainy day, and wake up to kids jumping on top of us wanting to play, and go to bed knowing that we would only fall asleep after we were sweaty and out of breath.
Yeah, yeah, I haven't mentioned arguments or bill paying and kids interrupting you in bed because they don't feel well and then happen to throw up all over you. I know what's involved. I just think it would be nice to share it with someone who could kiss me when we makeup and let me handle the bill paying on time, and most of all join in my laughter and cleaning up of the gross stuff after the child is put to bed feeling better.
Obviously, I did some reading about dating this Shabbos. Maybe it will help me later on down the line. I think it might even help me now. One book made me feel better about saying good-bye to Man and to be proud that I didn't continue in a relationship that would end up going nowhere. But the downfall is that it is really more difficult for me to imagine csbf and I really would like sex without any attachments. Having some has left me wanting more except now I think I would like to have it all. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?
Books are my friends. Yes, I have human friends too. But I've always turned to books as a refuge and as enjoyment. I get lost in the words and the worlds become real. I've been an Indian princess (when I was younger), scientists, explorers of strange worlds, architects, doctors and cowboys not to mention a sorceress who can talk to animals, and a wizard of Earthsea. Whenever a movie comes out about a book I read I always hesitate about seeing it. I don't want to see the story changed or the characters look different than how I picture them... but usually my curiosity gets the better of me. Even when there is a picture of one of the characters on the book I try to ignore it and form my own view.
Kinda got sidetracked or maybe not.... I guess it's to be expected that I would also turn to books for information about dating. I've read lots of these books Mars And Venus On A Date, The Kettle The Fish and The Bird, The Everything Dating Book. I feel that I need as much help as possible because I don't want to end up with the same man twice. That is if I (want to) get married again. Yes, I know that's cynical. Maybe I'm thinking that way as a protection in case it ends up happening (that I don't get married). Deep down I know I would love to spend the rest of my life with someone. I want to share what I love with someone and be quiet with them in front of a fire on a rainy day, and wake up to kids jumping on top of us wanting to play, and go to bed knowing that we would only fall asleep after we were sweaty and out of breath.
Yeah, yeah, I haven't mentioned arguments or bill paying and kids interrupting you in bed because they don't feel well and then happen to throw up all over you. I know what's involved. I just think it would be nice to share it with someone who could kiss me when we makeup and let me handle the bill paying on time, and most of all join in my laughter and cleaning up of the gross stuff after the child is put to bed feeling better.
Obviously, I did some reading about dating this Shabbos. Maybe it will help me later on down the line. I think it might even help me now. One book made me feel better about saying good-bye to Man and to be proud that I didn't continue in a relationship that would end up going nowhere. But the downfall is that it is really more difficult for me to imagine csbf and I really would like sex without any attachments. Having some has left me wanting more except now I think I would like to have it all. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?
Thursday, May 17, 2007
I Called
I called The Man, Mr. Man. I'm going to use the excuse of being exhausted and not thinking straight along with the strong smell of pot that is wafting into my bedroom. My next door neighbors are smokin' like a chimney, and it appears that I might have a contact high..... Yes, I am inhaling. I can't stop breathing... ;)
A long time ago...... in a galaxy far far away.... wrong story. A long time ago when I used to smoke up it would make me extremely (no other way to say it) horny. I wanted sex and lots of it along with chocolate ice cream. Of course, it had to be good sex.... and chocolate fudge ice cream from Baskin Robbins. Well, I got to thinking after writing back and forth to Man that it would be sooooooo nice to hear his voice. In case you couldn't tell I have a thing for voices. We just got off the phone and no, I'm not going to meet him and I didn't invite him over. BUT I SURE WANTED TOO! I behaved myself.
We spoke for awhile, and I closed my eyes listening to the silk drift out of the phone and tickle my ear. And then we said good-bye. I'll miss him. If I wasn't moving or if he was able to move then I would be in his arms with my head on his chest listening to the rumbling of his sweet words cover my skin with their warmth.
A long time ago...... in a galaxy far far away.... wrong story. A long time ago when I used to smoke up it would make me extremely (no other way to say it) horny. I wanted sex and lots of it along with chocolate ice cream. Of course, it had to be good sex.... and chocolate fudge ice cream from Baskin Robbins. Well, I got to thinking after writing back and forth to Man that it would be sooooooo nice to hear his voice. In case you couldn't tell I have a thing for voices. We just got off the phone and no, I'm not going to meet him and I didn't invite him over. BUT I SURE WANTED TOO! I behaved myself.
We spoke for awhile, and I closed my eyes listening to the silk drift out of the phone and tickle my ear. And then we said good-bye. I'll miss him. If I wasn't moving or if he was able to move then I would be in his arms with my head on his chest listening to the rumbling of his sweet words cover my skin with their warmth.
I Forgot
Bud asked me yesterday what the bad thing was. I didn't know what he was referring to for a moment. Oh, my blog. I started laughing because I couldn't remember the terrible thing that had happened. Either it wasn't so terrible or I have a horrible memory.... Mommy brain, it happens when you're pregnant and never goes away. It's when you can recite all the character's names on the children's pbs shows, but you can't remember your own. Smoo has proven in his post that dads can get it too.
Anyway, the horrible thing is not so horrible... another lesson I've learned is that most things don't seem so bad the next day. It's amazing that I have learned how not to react (let me finish) or rather overreact when crazy things take place with the stbx. It only took ____ years to get me to this point. It's also pretty amazing that when I do let something really get to me it only takes about 15 minutes for me to calm down and realize the sky isn't falling. AND YES! That's an extremely big deal for someone as emotional as me. You see, I just feel my feelings, and wear them.... like a heavy dark gray raincoat or a light pink jacket that moves with the breeze on a brilliant spring day.... and most people around me can tell what I'm feeling.
So Bud and all you others out there you'll just have to live without knowing... Maybe next time I'll have enough energy to write it down before I forget.
gtg-- I've just driven back and forth to Kansas for the second time in 4 days and I'm wiped, but the ac and brakes are fixed on Squeaky -- they couldn't get rid of the squeak.
OH! Both Willing and Mr. Man wrote me e-mails today. Man wants to get together, but I know that since I feel a little something for him it would not be the best move. Although..... I do miss his laugh and voice... don't worry I'm not going to start something with someone who can't move. At least I'll try not to... I don't make promises.
Anyway, the horrible thing is not so horrible... another lesson I've learned is that most things don't seem so bad the next day. It's amazing that I have learned how not to react (let me finish) or rather overreact when crazy things take place with the stbx. It only took ____ years to get me to this point. It's also pretty amazing that when I do let something really get to me it only takes about 15 minutes for me to calm down and realize the sky isn't falling. AND YES! That's an extremely big deal for someone as emotional as me. You see, I just feel my feelings, and wear them.... like a heavy dark gray raincoat or a light pink jacket that moves with the breeze on a brilliant spring day.... and most people around me can tell what I'm feeling.
So Bud and all you others out there you'll just have to live without knowing... Maybe next time I'll have enough energy to write it down before I forget.
gtg-- I've just driven back and forth to Kansas for the second time in 4 days and I'm wiped, but the ac and brakes are fixed on Squeaky -- they couldn't get rid of the squeak.
OH! Both Willing and Mr. Man wrote me e-mails today. Man wants to get together, but I know that since I feel a little something for him it would not be the best move. Although..... I do miss his laugh and voice... don't worry I'm not going to start something with someone who can't move. At least I'll try not to... I don't make promises.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Wonderful, Terrible Time
It always happens and yes, I am aware that I used the word always. That is because I can't remember a time during these past ____ years of the divorce that within a day or two of something fantastic happening, something horrible happens. At this point in time you would think that I am prepared and aware that something bad is going to take place.
OK, OK, I'll tell you what it is. Bad news first or good news first? I prefer the bad news then I can feel better when I hear the good news.... so here we go... uhh... changed my mind I'll go in chronological order.
Shabbos in Kansas was absolutely a blast!!!! Of course, driving down with no a/c in a minivan wasn't too much fun. Then the brakes started acting up right as we got to my mom's. But ice cream makes everything better. We weren't able to get the car to the shop before Shabbos, but I let it go and decided not to worry about something I had no control over.
Shabbos day was abosutely gorgeous. DB was outside in the a.m and then two of his buddies came over. One lives next door and is his age. He's new the neighborhood and DB and he have hit it off. Shabbos afternoon was a riot. The cousins came over with some friends. You see, my mom's home in Kansas has on open door policy. What that means is that she loves when everyone comes over and everyone (family, friends, friends of family members) knows this and feels welcome. DB and I beat two of his older cousins and their friends at $25,000 Pyramid. Bubbi (my mom) was the mc. Her face got so red from laughing and then all of us couldn't stop laughing. These guys were/are soooooooo competitive and started arguing over every little thing. It was too funny and we were all having a great time.
Then it started to pour and pour so they were stuck until after Shabbos and not a single one of us was upset about it. We played gin, and pool. And yes, my mother's house is a veritable game room.
OH!!! I got my mother's day present on Shabbos. DB brought it to the table during lunch.
OK, OK, I'll tell you what it is. Bad news first or good news first? I prefer the bad news then I can feel better when I hear the good news.... so here we go... uhh... changed my mind I'll go in chronological order.
Shabbos in Kansas was absolutely a blast!!!! Of course, driving down with no a/c in a minivan wasn't too much fun. Then the brakes started acting up right as we got to my mom's. But ice cream makes everything better. We weren't able to get the car to the shop before Shabbos, but I let it go and decided not to worry about something I had no control over.
Shabbos day was abosutely gorgeous. DB was outside in the a.m and then two of his buddies came over. One lives next door and is his age. He's new the neighborhood and DB and he have hit it off. Shabbos afternoon was a riot. The cousins came over with some friends. You see, my mom's home in Kansas has on open door policy. What that means is that she loves when everyone comes over and everyone (family, friends, friends of family members) knows this and feels welcome. DB and I beat two of his older cousins and their friends at $25,000 Pyramid. Bubbi (my mom) was the mc. Her face got so red from laughing and then all of us couldn't stop laughing. These guys were/are soooooooo competitive and started arguing over every little thing. It was too funny and we were all having a great time.
Then it started to pour and pour so they were stuck until after Shabbos and not a single one of us was upset about it. We played gin, and pool. And yes, my mother's house is a veritable game room.
OH!!! I got my mother's day present on Shabbos. DB brought it to the table during lunch.
Mother's Day was wonderful too. I cleaned the house the whole day. Well, that part wasn't wonderful, but I know my mom appreciated it. Finally, when two of the cousins came early. I got in the shower. Everyone was there. OK, Almost everyone, some cousins drove for over three hours just to be at the barbecue. HOLY MOLY!!! We had tables set up outside and the temp. was perfect with just a light breeze, no mosquitoes or bees or any other kind of bugs (much to DB's disappointment).
The kids were on the play set, in the woods, playing catch, and walking around with dirty faces. You could tell that the food was good; the kids faces were stained all different colors, not to mention their clothes. As a matter of fact I think most of us had at least one stain on a shirt or skirt from those sticky grubby hands. No one wanted to leave. There was no need really. We had a minyan. But when it started getting dark and little eyelids started drooping it was time to go. Then it was clean up time. I fell asleep as soon or maybe even before my head hit the pillow.
I know that I should finish this now, but I'm exhausted. The cleaning, more cleaning, packing, driving, unloading, unpacking and then the not so good stuff has kind of left me just a little tired. I'll try to finish this up tonight... but I'm not promising 'cause I've gotta go shoot some hoops with da' boy.
to be continued..........
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Back On The Treadmill
Yup, I've gained some weight, and I can't say that I don't know how it happened. I was uptight and anxious about the forensic psychologist so I ate away the nervousness. Well, I'm not so nervous anymore and I want to fit into my clothes again.
FYI- I am not one of those skinny girls or model wannabes. I just like how I feel when I'm lighter. I also like the energy I get after I work out not to mention the muscles.... not weightlifter muscles just toned. What I would really love to do (and I'm going to) is get a toned tummy and pierce my belly button. That probably won't happen until the end or maybe even mid-summer if I'm lucky.
People won't recognize me. Short hair and a different color, and different body. I am going to be one hot momma. Maybe I'll post pics, before and after.... but I don't think you'll get to see the belly button, sorry.
FYI- I am not one of those skinny girls or model wannabes. I just like how I feel when I'm lighter. I also like the energy I get after I work out not to mention the muscles.... not weightlifter muscles just toned. What I would really love to do (and I'm going to) is get a toned tummy and pierce my belly button. That probably won't happen until the end or maybe even mid-summer if I'm lucky.
People won't recognize me. Short hair and a different color, and different body. I am going to be one hot momma. Maybe I'll post pics, before and after.... but I don't think you'll get to see the belly button, sorry.
Early Arrival
Denver is going to be arriving in Oz tomorrow night for business and wants to go out with me. You aren't the only one that just found this out. Although I did know that he was coming here, I didn't know it was going to be on Thursday. It was supposed to be Friday morning. He apologized for not letting me know sooner, but he just got his ticket. I don't have a babysitter for DB so we won't be getting together.
The funny thing is that once he told me he would be in tom. night I started feeling a little attracted to him. I'm not going to analyze it.... just go with the flow. I'm also not going to tell him that he shouldn't come in for our date in a couple of weeks. He can't come back any sooner which is just as well because of the forensic appointments, Shavuos, and Memorial Day. We'll probably get together in June.
For future reference, what is the protocol when a guy comes in from out of town. Does the girl pick him up? Does he plan the date/s? Does she find a place for him to stay? Any help and advice would be great... tia
The funny thing is that once he told me he would be in tom. night I started feeling a little attracted to him. I'm not going to analyze it.... just go with the flow. I'm also not going to tell him that he shouldn't come in for our date in a couple of weeks. He can't come back any sooner which is just as well because of the forensic appointments, Shavuos, and Memorial Day. We'll probably get together in June.
For future reference, what is the protocol when a guy comes in from out of town. Does the girl pick him up? Does he plan the date/s? Does she find a place for him to stay? Any help and advice would be great... tia
The Unanswerable Question
Why does red soda explode? And why does it ALWAYS explode? It doesn't matter what color red it is (bright popsicle cherry red or dark black cherry red). They always explode. The only way to prevent the spray from ending up on you is to turn the bottle cap slightly to release some of the fizz. I would suggest that you still have a paper towel handy because sometimes even then the soda manages to get out. Is it something in the color red?
DB always loves the exploding soda and when asked in the store which one he wants for his Shabbos treat he almost always chooses a red one. On the rare occasion when he chooses orange soda he tries to get away with shaking it before he brings it to the table so that he can watch the orange fountain spray all over me.
Would love to know if anyone has the answer to this question.
DB always loves the exploding soda and when asked in the store which one he wants for his Shabbos treat he almost always chooses a red one. On the rare occasion when he chooses orange soda he tries to get away with shaking it before he brings it to the table so that he can watch the orange fountain spray all over me.
Would love to know if anyone has the answer to this question.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Butterflies Everywhere
You see, I had a great-uncle who was a lepidoptorist (someone who studies butterflies and moths) that was nifter recently. That was what I told the forensic psychologist after I had seen my fourth butterfly in less than three Rorschach pictures.
Don't most people see butterflies? It is an inkblot dropped in a middle of a paper and then folded in half. But there weren't just butterflies in the pictures. I also saw rocket ships and an alien. Of course, it only dawned on me when I was talking to Gretel about the testing that I should have told the forensic that I read a tremendous amount of science fiction.
Should've also mentioned that I have a very vivid imagination. I saw at least four different things in every picture. Although, that was after I turned some of them upside down. It was an interesting evening. I've never had a Rorschach test before and didn't even know they still gave them. At first I was worried about my answers hurting the case, but it was over and there was nothing I could do about it..... except laugh and wonder what he thought about the fact that I also saw a bleached cow's skull with horns in one of the pictures. I guess now he knows that I am one really strange cookie...... strange, but not psycho. At least that's what the voices in my head tell me.''
Don't most people see butterflies? It is an inkblot dropped in a middle of a paper and then folded in half. But there weren't just butterflies in the pictures. I also saw rocket ships and an alien. Of course, it only dawned on me when I was talking to Gretel about the testing that I should have told the forensic that I read a tremendous amount of science fiction.
Should've also mentioned that I have a very vivid imagination. I saw at least four different things in every picture. Although, that was after I turned some of them upside down. It was an interesting evening. I've never had a Rorschach test before and didn't even know they still gave them. At first I was worried about my answers hurting the case, but it was over and there was nothing I could do about it..... except laugh and wonder what he thought about the fact that I also saw a bleached cow's skull with horns in one of the pictures. I guess now he knows that I am one really strange cookie...... strange, but not psycho. At least that's what the voices in my head tell me.''
answer - zero, not really butterflies
Sunday, May 6, 2007
People Person or Trying To Avoid Working
I have come to the conclusion that I am a people person. I can almost hear everyone I know saying "No duh, CR." But I don't mean that I get along well with people or even that I like people. I need people. In order for me to be happy. I need people to talk with, to smile at or just to say thank you to after they give me my change. It makes me feel good, alive, and puts a bounce in my step. I literally mean a bounce in my step. I've been told that's the way I walk.
Being inside working the whole day has really gotten to me, and yes, I'm still wearing what I slept in. Sorry guys, nothing frilly just my ducky pajama bottoms and a big old NYFD t-shirt. I want to be dressed, outside, feeling the sun on my back and the wind in my face. I'm sick of doing paperwork. I've barely left my room if only to go and get more papers from the living room. I'm highlighting and gathering all the documents that I think are necessary for the forensic psychologist to see before he makes his decision about relocation.
Obviously I needed a break and some time to kvetch, cry, bitch, groan and feel sorry for myself. Almost done just a few more sentences.
While I was working I had a movie "Stranger Than Fiction" on and now I have that pull to have someone in my life. Someone to kvetch to, to spend time with, to kiss.... Keep me away from Frumster. I don't have the time to go out with anyone now. OH! Forgot to keep you updated on the dating. Denver is still in the picture probably because he doesn't call everyday, and doesn't keep me on the phone too long. Up until last week he also hadn't mentioned us actually getting together. He's very busy himself with quarterly reports and all that junk. BUT he wants to meet me. UGH!! Can you believe I just wrote UGH!!? What is wrong with me?!?!? Wasn't I just writing about wanting someone in my life. What I really want is someone without any strings attached. A friend that I can care for and play with, but that I don't need to worry about things going any farther. I don't feel like getting all dressed up and being nervous about meeting someone and making inane boring conversation. Not that I don't like getting dressed up. I do. But right now is not a good time. I don't want to have to worry about what someone thinks of me. I just want a friend... a bud.
No, it can't be Bud he's a little busy with someone new. She sounds great and he sounds so sweet when he talks about her. It also can't be some of the guys on Frumster because I know that they are looking for more and I don't want to lead anyone on. Although, there are two younger guys who contact me every so often. They're cute, have some brains, and would love to get together. But can I really get together with someone who's ten years or 15 years younger than I am? I do have friends of all ages. I mean ALL ages... from 86-21. I'm also aware that these younger guys just have one thing on their minds and they think that an older woman can't wait to get her hands.... not gonna finish that thought.... But just because they think that doesn't mean that it will happen.... although, if they catch me at the right moment.... Noooooooooooo.... well, maybe just some fooling around.
Have you noticed that I kind of sidestepped talking about Denver? This is the thing. I feel like he's nervous sometimes and laughs a little too long and then I start to feel uncomfortable. I also don't feel attracted to him. But maybe that's good then I can concentrate on who he is and how he treats people. But still, I can't see going out with someone I'm not attracted too. Maybe because he has everything going for him that I want I am preventing myself from being attracted to him. Because then things would have to move forward and I don't know if I want to get married again... at all. Awww Hell!!
What I want is a friend/boyfriend with all the benefits, but none of the permanent attachments. Or maybe I do want someone to get old with. ENOUGH!!!!!!
See I kinda changed the subject from Denver again. Anyway, he is coming into Oz this weekend, but I will be in Kansas for Mother's Day. Big Barbecue at my mom's every year, and there's no way I want to stay in Oz when I have the opportunity to be surrounded by my family and friends. Denver had also mentioned coming into Oz right after Shavuos, but I don't want to spend Memorial Day weekend with him. I can have a full week in Kansas instead. Maybe he'll come to Kansas, but truthfully I don't want him too.
OK, here's another reason not to want to go out with Denver... when I mentioned the Mother's day barbecue we were joking that he could come down to Kansas for it and meet my whole family. He said jokingly that he doesn't even like those things after he's engaged. What does that mean? Hey, I'm moving to Kansas to spend time with my family.... definitely not every minute so calm down... I'm not tied to them, but my family loves to get together and we all do sometimes spontaneously at someone's house, or pool or for a day trip hiking and to the beach. Anyone who comes into my family will be accepted as part of the family and I would like them to accept my family also.
Enough overthinking, Oh! But I forgot to mention that I will feel bad if Denver spends his money on a ticket to Oz and then I discover that without a doubt I'm not attracted to him. The funniest thing is that he's good looking, intelligent... very intelligent, caring.... STOP ALREADY!!!
Anyone have the idea that I am putting off getting back to these piles of papers on my floor? Excuse any grammatical errors or whatever, but if I re-read what I wrote then I'll just end up writing more.
Hey! Almost forgot. Happy Lag B'Omer!!!!
Being inside working the whole day has really gotten to me, and yes, I'm still wearing what I slept in. Sorry guys, nothing frilly just my ducky pajama bottoms and a big old NYFD t-shirt. I want to be dressed, outside, feeling the sun on my back and the wind in my face. I'm sick of doing paperwork. I've barely left my room if only to go and get more papers from the living room. I'm highlighting and gathering all the documents that I think are necessary for the forensic psychologist to see before he makes his decision about relocation.
Obviously I needed a break and some time to kvetch, cry, bitch, groan and feel sorry for myself. Almost done just a few more sentences.
While I was working I had a movie "Stranger Than Fiction" on and now I have that pull to have someone in my life. Someone to kvetch to, to spend time with, to kiss.... Keep me away from Frumster. I don't have the time to go out with anyone now. OH! Forgot to keep you updated on the dating. Denver is still in the picture probably because he doesn't call everyday, and doesn't keep me on the phone too long. Up until last week he also hadn't mentioned us actually getting together. He's very busy himself with quarterly reports and all that junk. BUT he wants to meet me. UGH!! Can you believe I just wrote UGH!!? What is wrong with me?!?!? Wasn't I just writing about wanting someone in my life. What I really want is someone without any strings attached. A friend that I can care for and play with, but that I don't need to worry about things going any farther. I don't feel like getting all dressed up and being nervous about meeting someone and making inane boring conversation. Not that I don't like getting dressed up. I do. But right now is not a good time. I don't want to have to worry about what someone thinks of me. I just want a friend... a bud.
No, it can't be Bud he's a little busy with someone new. She sounds great and he sounds so sweet when he talks about her. It also can't be some of the guys on Frumster because I know that they are looking for more and I don't want to lead anyone on. Although, there are two younger guys who contact me every so often. They're cute, have some brains, and would love to get together. But can I really get together with someone who's ten years or 15 years younger than I am? I do have friends of all ages. I mean ALL ages... from 86-21. I'm also aware that these younger guys just have one thing on their minds and they think that an older woman can't wait to get her hands.... not gonna finish that thought.... But just because they think that doesn't mean that it will happen.... although, if they catch me at the right moment.... Noooooooooooo.... well, maybe just some fooling around.
Have you noticed that I kind of sidestepped talking about Denver? This is the thing. I feel like he's nervous sometimes and laughs a little too long and then I start to feel uncomfortable. I also don't feel attracted to him. But maybe that's good then I can concentrate on who he is and how he treats people. But still, I can't see going out with someone I'm not attracted too. Maybe because he has everything going for him that I want I am preventing myself from being attracted to him. Because then things would have to move forward and I don't know if I want to get married again... at all. Awww Hell!!
What I want is a friend/boyfriend with all the benefits, but none of the permanent attachments. Or maybe I do want someone to get old with. ENOUGH!!!!!!
See I kinda changed the subject from Denver again. Anyway, he is coming into Oz this weekend, but I will be in Kansas for Mother's Day. Big Barbecue at my mom's every year, and there's no way I want to stay in Oz when I have the opportunity to be surrounded by my family and friends. Denver had also mentioned coming into Oz right after Shavuos, but I don't want to spend Memorial Day weekend with him. I can have a full week in Kansas instead. Maybe he'll come to Kansas, but truthfully I don't want him too.
OK, here's another reason not to want to go out with Denver... when I mentioned the Mother's day barbecue we were joking that he could come down to Kansas for it and meet my whole family. He said jokingly that he doesn't even like those things after he's engaged. What does that mean? Hey, I'm moving to Kansas to spend time with my family.... definitely not every minute so calm down... I'm not tied to them, but my family loves to get together and we all do sometimes spontaneously at someone's house, or pool or for a day trip hiking and to the beach. Anyone who comes into my family will be accepted as part of the family and I would like them to accept my family also.
Enough overthinking, Oh! But I forgot to mention that I will feel bad if Denver spends his money on a ticket to Oz and then I discover that without a doubt I'm not attracted to him. The funniest thing is that he's good looking, intelligent... very intelligent, caring.... STOP ALREADY!!!
Anyone have the idea that I am putting off getting back to these piles of papers on my floor? Excuse any grammatical errors or whatever, but if I re-read what I wrote then I'll just end up writing more.
Hey! Almost forgot. Happy Lag B'Omer!!!!
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Absolutely Anything Turns A Young Man's Fancy To Sex or Sex Fiends In Space
But not just a young man's fancy (hope Tennyson forgives my adaptation).... I am referring to almost any male that has discovered the opposite sex. The reason I did not state an exact age is that it varies, but once the discovery has been made there's no going back.
I talked to Bud about this awhile back and he confirmed that sex is almost always on a guy's mind. I had heard this before but I really didn't believe it until he started voicing his sex thoughts while we were having the conversation. Throughout the rest of the conversation he told me when he was thinking about sex. I know, I know, the conversation was about sex so, of course, that's what he was thinking about. But he was letting me know that just walking down the street will make a man think about sex even without any women present... and just buying food will make a man think about sex... basically anything will make a man think about sex.
Really, guys, isn't there ever a time when sex doesn't pop into your head. I'm remembering when I was a teenager and in our group of friends there was a guy that we called "Hands" (for obvious reasons). He was also the guy who constantly turned anything that was said into some sort of sexual innuendo. But I think that's a gift that all guys have because they have the ability to associate anything with sex.
I'm astounded and impressed that men can actually work and get anything done in their lives with this sex track constantly running in their heads. It's absolutely unbelievable that a man made it into outer space considering this..... But, maybe the reason we made it into outer space is that men wanted to find out what sex would be like in zero-gravity and those thoughts constantly drove them.
I know how difficult it is for me to get things done when all I can think about is sex... remembering the last time... imagining the next time... the way he kisses, touches etc. In fact, sex will then pop up into any conversation I have and everything around me reminds me of sex in some way. All you men out there have earned my respect at your ability to multitask.
I'm most definitely not complaining. In fact, I appreciate (greatly appreciate!!) a man that loves sex as much as I do. I'm just marveling at your ability to function as if these things aren't going on in your head.
btw-- in case you didn't notice my libido is starting to return
I talked to Bud about this awhile back and he confirmed that sex is almost always on a guy's mind. I had heard this before but I really didn't believe it until he started voicing his sex thoughts while we were having the conversation. Throughout the rest of the conversation he told me when he was thinking about sex. I know, I know, the conversation was about sex so, of course, that's what he was thinking about. But he was letting me know that just walking down the street will make a man think about sex even without any women present... and just buying food will make a man think about sex... basically anything will make a man think about sex.
Really, guys, isn't there ever a time when sex doesn't pop into your head. I'm remembering when I was a teenager and in our group of friends there was a guy that we called "Hands" (for obvious reasons). He was also the guy who constantly turned anything that was said into some sort of sexual innuendo. But I think that's a gift that all guys have because they have the ability to associate anything with sex.
I'm astounded and impressed that men can actually work and get anything done in their lives with this sex track constantly running in their heads. It's absolutely unbelievable that a man made it into outer space considering this..... But, maybe the reason we made it into outer space is that men wanted to find out what sex would be like in zero-gravity and those thoughts constantly drove them.
I know how difficult it is for me to get things done when all I can think about is sex... remembering the last time... imagining the next time... the way he kisses, touches etc. In fact, sex will then pop up into any conversation I have and everything around me reminds me of sex in some way. All you men out there have earned my respect at your ability to multitask.
I'm most definitely not complaining. In fact, I appreciate (greatly appreciate!!) a man that loves sex as much as I do. I'm just marveling at your ability to function as if these things aren't going on in your head.
btw-- in case you didn't notice my libido is starting to return
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
All HAIL THE RABBIS
I just finished reading Lakewood Venter's post that he wrote after reading this article. It's about having hechsherim for specialty stores that sell "kosher" (tzniusdik) clothes. "Frum" people will feel compelled to shop there or risk not being considered "frum enough." This is ridiculous!!!!!!
Even if women (and yes, you men too) did shop in the "kosher" store and buy the "kosher" clothes, what about the stores that can't afford to pay for the hechsher? Do they go under even if they are only selling tzinus clothes but without the right supervision? And then do the "kosher" stores charge more in order to pay for the hechsher. Does this mean that some children have to go without new clothes for yontif because their school with expell them? and they won't get a good shidduch if they don't wear kosher clothes?
GET A HEART!!!!
Will there also be the possibility that someone will lose a shidduch because at one time their parents used to shop at the store without the "hechsher"?
GET SOME COURAGE!!!!
If people want to dress tzinusdik then they will. It is possible to even buy clothes that are not originally "kosher" and have them fixed and vice versa. At some point in time people have to be responsible for themselves and answer for their own actions (in shmayim). Can Hashem possibly want this insanity?!?!?!?! Hashem gave us the the Torah , but when there is chumra upon chumra it is not the Torah anymore!!! It has evolved into a new religion --. Chumra-ism!! And people without any brains, who cannot think for themselves are climbing over one another to join. All praise the rabbis who give us more Chumras.
GET A BRAIN!!!!!!!
I will admit that it's a good idea for stores to band together and encourage manufacturers to make more modest clothes or for people to write to department store requesting longer skirts without slits etc.... That would probably bring the price down too.
Don't these people have anything better to do with their time? What about learning some actual Torah or doing some chesed. Someone help me out. Isn't there a saying "You are not allowed to add to the Torah or to take away from the Torah" What is the Hebrew for it? It's been awhile since I've been a good Bais Yaakov girl.
YES!! I went to Bais Yaakov AND I can think for myself. It was encouraged in my school. But that was in Kansas not in the midst of Chumraville (or Oz or whatever you want to call this place).
It appears that some rabbis (I'm trying hard not to generalize) have turned into the soldiers of the Wicked Witch of the West and can only follow orders even if they know it's not necessarily the right thing to do. They are afraid that the leading rabbis will come down on them for not being "frum enough." I hope that all you Tin Men out there will get a heart and realize that this only hurts people. And all you Scarecrows will realize that you do have a brain and can think for yourselves. And maybe the Cowardly Lion will share some of his courage with you so that you won't be afraid to act according to your thoughts and the way you feel.
Even if women (and yes, you men too) did shop in the "kosher" store and buy the "kosher" clothes, what about the stores that can't afford to pay for the hechsher? Do they go under even if they are only selling tzinus clothes but without the right supervision? And then do the "kosher" stores charge more in order to pay for the hechsher. Does this mean that some children have to go without new clothes for yontif because their school with expell them? and they won't get a good shidduch if they don't wear kosher clothes?
GET A HEART!!!!
Will there also be the possibility that someone will lose a shidduch because at one time their parents used to shop at the store without the "hechsher"?
GET SOME COURAGE!!!!
If people want to dress tzinusdik then they will. It is possible to even buy clothes that are not originally "kosher" and have them fixed and vice versa. At some point in time people have to be responsible for themselves and answer for their own actions (in shmayim). Can Hashem possibly want this insanity?!?!?!?! Hashem gave us the the Torah , but when there is chumra upon chumra it is not the Torah anymore!!! It has evolved into a new religion --. Chumra-ism!! And people without any brains, who cannot think for themselves are climbing over one another to join. All praise the rabbis who give us more Chumras.
GET A BRAIN!!!!!!!
I will admit that it's a good idea for stores to band together and encourage manufacturers to make more modest clothes or for people to write to department store requesting longer skirts without slits etc.... That would probably bring the price down too.
Don't these people have anything better to do with their time? What about learning some actual Torah or doing some chesed. Someone help me out. Isn't there a saying "You are not allowed to add to the Torah or to take away from the Torah" What is the Hebrew for it? It's been awhile since I've been a good Bais Yaakov girl.
YES!! I went to Bais Yaakov AND I can think for myself. It was encouraged in my school. But that was in Kansas not in the midst of Chumraville (or Oz or whatever you want to call this place).
It appears that some rabbis (I'm trying hard not to generalize) have turned into the soldiers of the Wicked Witch of the West and can only follow orders even if they know it's not necessarily the right thing to do. They are afraid that the leading rabbis will come down on them for not being "frum enough." I hope that all you Tin Men out there will get a heart and realize that this only hurts people. And all you Scarecrows will realize that you do have a brain and can think for yourselves. And maybe the Cowardly Lion will share some of his courage with you so that you won't be afraid to act according to your thoughts and the way you feel.
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