Friday, April 13, 2007

On The Road Again... And Again

Yup, we're headed back to Kansas again tomorrow for Shabbos. I'll pick up DB from school and away we'll go. As much as I love to drive, I wouldn't complain if DB finished his transporter/time machine, and all we would have to do is jump in, press a button and presto... we would be in Kansas. I almost considered staying in Oz for the weekend, but if I have a choice I'd rather be in Kansas.

Since I won't be in Oz, I won't be going out on any dates this weekend which is kinda good. For some reason I'm just not into it right now. Maybe it's because I'm absolutely exhausted from Yontif and all the driving, but I really think it's just a lot to take in at once. Of course, I had to open a can of worms and write back to this man who said he would not relocate. No it's not NM. It's this man (yes, I wrote man as opposed to guy) that I was corresponding with recently. There is this air about him of adultness (shoot me... I know it's not a word but it fits) of surety about who he is and want he wants. This is someone that I thought I had a chance with... a real chance.

Anyway, he was on Frumster today and I gave in to the temptation of looking at his profile. (I was torturing myself by looking at what I couldn't have, and I was also hoping that he would write to me again. He did just that and gave me an opening to write back. Soooooo..... I did. And gave him my number too. I got his in return. We haven't talked yet and I'm still not sure if I want to. Actually, I do want to talk to him and hear his voice, but I know that I shouldn't.

Bud was great, and tried to get it into my head that I am just sabotaging myself by starting this. I wonder why I'm pulled to people who don't want to relocate. It's not that I search them out or try to hide the fact that I'm moving. As soon as they contact me (except for Mr. Man) I let them know immediately that I'm relocating so that it won't be a problem later on... if there is a later on. Is a part of me not ready not to get involved with someone? Or maybe I'm afraid to get involved if I know it will lead to....... the m-word. See, I don't even want to write the whole word.

Ya know it's getting late and I'm going to try to stop thinking... Yeah, right, I'd like to see that... me not thinking about things and analyzing....

Things always look different in the morning. Well, not always, but sometimes.

Good Shabbos

8 comments:

Passionate Life said...

Umm... The whole scenario of your correspondence that you are having with Mr. Man on Frumster sounds exactly like a correspondence that I am having on Frumster with a Ms. Woman about relocation and all.

We couldn't actually be corresponding with each other could we? ;-)

come running said...

Maybe!?!?!

smoo said...

If both of you are smart, don't admit it. Your blog is your place to vent anonymously and without repercussions. I don't believe it smart to reveal your identity unless you are FAR along in the relationship...and even then sometimes it's just nice to have a safe private place you can call your own.

smoo said...

"If both of you are smart, don't admit it."

I am referring to clarifying if you are corresponding with each other outside the blog world. I am not proposing that you deny that you are smart.

Passionate Life said...

I have been in the closet about it for a long time and I just can't keep it all bottled up inside - its killing me!!!

I must shout it out to the whole world and I don't care anymore what anybody thinks about it. It's who I am and I am damn proud.

Ready?

I am one rooten tooten genuine SMART guy!

So there!

Out, smart, and damn proud of it!!

How about you C.R. ready to come out of the closet? ;-)

come running said...

What the hell... I'm coming out of the closet too.

Hi, my name is CR and ummmmm... this is difficult for me, but I'm going to try and say it....

My name is CR and I'm smart.

Hey, that wasn't sooo bad. Thanks for the encouragement PL. Will you be my sponsor? ;)

Passionate Life said...

Sure! It is tricky because its so tempting to get back into the closet and the warm safety of being mindless.

I'll sponsor you if you sponsor me?

Deal? ;-)

come running said...

Deal! But you're right, it is so tempting to leave the thinking to someone else.

It's also hard when your friends are a bad influence and are trying to get you to stop thinking... ;)

See my next post.