I actually wrote last night. I started work on a new poem. It felt damn good even if the poem is horrible. I want to contact my poetry professor and meet up with him. He's so cool and we get along well. He also doesn't mind critiquing my work. It would be nice to hear what needs correction and why something should be changed.
Onto the man of the hour.... I think he needs some space so I'm going to try my damnedest to give it to him. I feel like he wants to pull back. It's ok. He's allowed to. And it's not like I didn't know that this would happen. I'm too much... and I'm scared and that just scares him away. He can go, and as much as I don't want him to, I can let him. Yeah right, sure you can CR. Well, I can. It doesn't mean it won't hurt like hell and that I won't miss him. It just means that he's smart. Ok, ok, it just means that... Well, it does mean that he's smart. There's too much in my life and with me. I wouldn't want to deal with me either.
I love him, but I only want to be with someone who wants me. I don't want someone to have to pretend that they want to be with me, and I don't want someone who's doing it out of pity or some other weird reason. It's too hard to think that. I don't want to go, but if that is what he needs and/or wants then I will.
I want laughing and hugs and tears and love. I want it all, and I will miss the smiling eyes in his voice.
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