Stayed Out Late

OK, what you've all been waiting for.... the date.

I was absolutely exhausted but finally fell asleep for about 45 min. after I wrote the post yesterday. I had wanted to clean up the apt. some more, but I just wasn't functioning.

When I woke up I realized that the clothes I wanted to wear were at the cleaners. I got there before they closed, and then realized that the skirt was actually at home.

Yeah, you probably aren't interested in all that. "Get to the good part, CR!!" OK, OK, he picked me up and we went out to dinner. I remembered to put on perfume before I walked out the door and he said that I smelled good.

He looked good. Cute, actually handsome. I felt very comfortable with him. Well, we have been talking for an extended period of time. OH! I never even told you guys that I didn't want to go out with him in the first place. I only saw us as friends with no benefits because he wanted to go out. I didn't want any confusion to take place. I was straight out with this information, and he was OK with it at first.

Then at some point things changed. He was trying to convince me to go out with him everytime we spoke. At first, I thought he was joking, but when he kept on pushing I realized he really did want to go out with me. I asked him what changed, and why he wanted to go out with me now. He told me at least 20 times, but for the life of me I can't really remember why.

After about two weeks of him trying to convince me, he wore me down enough that I said yes.

Let's be honest here. He's kind, caring, funny, handsome, understanding, I feel comfortable with him, but there's just a part of me that's holding back. I'm not really sure why. OH!!!! Major biggie!!! He can relocate. Maybe it's because he can relocate that I'm not sure. Maybe I should just date him and get to know him better.

I still haven't come up with a name for him. I think it's just going to be NN (no name).

I've Got A Date!

Yup, it's true! It's not wishful thinking. I didn't make it up. I have a date!!!.

Can't decide what to call the guy. Maybe I'll have a name for him by the end of the night. Can't decide what to wear, but I'm sure I'll be able to figure something out. The most important thing that I can't decide about it is how to wear my hair.

OK, guys I'm sure you are tuned out at this point... Anyway, I didn't have a chance to get my haircut before Thanksgiving. It's long, very long, down past my shoulder blades, long enough to cut and give to Locks of Love with enough left over so that I won't be bald. That's why I've been growing it. I usually wear it in a doubled up ponytail at the back of neck with a baseball hat on my head. It's much easier than spending an hour blowdrying it and curling it.

I should be sleeping since I went a day without sleep and last night I only got 5 hours. BUT I think I'm a little wired. I feel a little more relaxed now that I've written about it. I'm gonna try to close my eyes again. I don't want to be yawning or have my face fall into my food while we're out.

BTW-I like him!

I'm Baaaaack!

Yup, I'm back in Oz. Believe it or not I'm also unpacked, AND everything is put away!!! Holy Moly Batman!! It looks like a different apartment. Are you sure this is home?!?!?

I'm a little punch drunk and wired on caffeine. I felt the need to tell you in case you couldn't figure it out. Which you very well can't. My hands are shaking a little and as much as I know I need the sleep my eyes just aren't closing. PLUS and that's a big PLUS, I've missed writing. I know I just wrote a post yesterday, but man, that was my first post in about a week.

I've got a lot to say and only about an hour to say it. Then DB will be up and I've got mucho errands to run after I drop him off at school; including court, the dry cleaners, the shoemaker, some food shopping, and the bank. OOOH almost forgot I have to pay some bills too.

Soooo about Thanksgiving... it was quiet this year only about 35 people and most everyone was gone by 8 p.m. It was kind of disappointing not to see all the cousins, but everyone who was there had a good time. I had invited GF and she brought along her son. After seeing who some of my relatives were she said that she understood how I was related to so many people in Kansas. She also came over for Shabbos lunch too, and it's great to have a new friend in Kansas who isn't even related.

I saw an old friend/boyfriend on Shabbos. He looked great. He's a bigshot doctor, married with five children and we picked up as if we had seen each other yesterday instead of 15 years ago. It's nice to see he's still the same sweet guy I had a crush on in high school. Hey! He even recognized me, and I look a lot different than the way I did then.

One of the tough things about holidays for children of divorced families is who you are going to spend them with. I'm lucky though, my parents get along and feel comfortable around each other. That wasn't necessarily the case when I was younger, but after the grandchildren were born things changed. Ever since I was little, maybe around five years old, I couldn't wait to have my own house in Kansas and that way I could invite all my family members including my dad and mom. It's still a dream of mine. I want to be able to share the joy and laughter and yes, the stress too. Hey, if I'm inviting all those people there's going to be some stress involved. I'm sure the oven will stop working or the refrigerator will break, but that will just add more to the memories and laughter.

There's more to say. I don't want to forget to tell you about my dream with Pierce Brosnan (from when he was in The Thomas Crown Affair, major HOT) and Brad Pitt, but I'm finally winding down. Of course if I went to sleep now I would wake up sooooo very cranky. It looks like I will just catch up on my blog reading. I want to know what's been going on with all of you. I hope I'll be able to write more this week, but I know I'm going to be very busy out of the house and working on papers. I never thought that I would crave writing this much.

btw- I know this has nothing to do with this post. I've been kind of rambling anyway. I've decided that I like it better when an author puts his thoughts about a story after the story and not before. I don't want to be told what to expect. I want to figure it out for myself and just enjoy the words. THEN, I would love to know how the story came into being.

OH! I found a book of children's poetry by Dean Koontz at Barnes & Nobles today. It's along the lines of Jack Prelutsky a CR family fave. We have several of his books. We really like the ones with the illustrations by Peter Sis.

Another thing... It looks like I'm going to be taking a course on Orton-Gillingham, which deals with methods of helping dyslexic children learn to read. Soooo excited. It will help me to help DB. Then I can also tutor and make some MUCH needed money.

Happiness Is A...

...good book, and all the books I've read by Harlan Ellison are included in that category.

I just got a new one today. A special treat because someone had given DB some books we already had at home. We returned them and I let him pick out some for himself. Then I got one.

HOORAY!! It's mine. It doesn't have to be returned at a specific time. The local library doesn't have that great an assortment of Science Fiction. I can read it now and then choose to read it again in two months without having to be concerned that it's been checked out. I can take it with me into the tub and not have to worry about drops of water on the pages. I can savor it along with chocolate chip cookies and care less about the crumbs that fall.

I've got a huge crush on Harlan Ellison. How could I not when he writes the way he does? This book is a compilation of some of his short stories but with an introduction before each one. I totally love (I was trying to come up with a different description but this is what stuck) when an author does this. You can look into his mind and heart and see how he ticks or tocks.

For all you people who kind of tuned out as soon as you saw the words Science Fiction, WAKE UP!!! This man is one of the greatest short story writers. I feel like a fool trying to use the same words he does in describing him. The words that he transforms into thoughts of gold or dung however you choose to see it. He holds no punches and faces the world with his wicked humor and enduring hope. Yes, Mr. Ellison, your hope is evident as much as you might want to hide it and shovel it under the sarcasm of events that your characters endure. This hope, to quote you, is that "you are not alone"... even with your deepest fears.

Going to stop writing and start reading letting my mind follow along with his.

Again

I've been tagged by MAK so here goes:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself: some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and list their names and link to them.
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog.


1. Since y'all know I'm weird to begin with, the fact that one of my nicknames used to be superchicken shouldn't surprise you.

2. I've become friends with the people who work for the collection agencies. I owe a lot of money. That's what happens when you get divorced, and I get weekly calls from some of the same people.

3. My brother does a great Redd Foxx imitation.

4. I used to dream I was an Indian Princess that was captured and I was adopted by my mom and dad, but someday I would be returned to the tribe to live in a tee pee and ride wild horses.

5. I shop for DB's clothes at least a year in advance at end of season sales, and I buy t-shirts for myself at the same time. It looks like this year I will be buying the same size for both of us.

6. Computers don't like me. No, they haven't told me that. I'm just assuming it from their actions.

7. Exercise and high doses of B vitamins keep my pms at bay.



I tag Rafi, Scraps, Jameel, Cat, Doc, Hesh, Frumhouse

A Case Of The I Wants

I want a loving man
arms around me
lips on mine
eyes of understanding

I want a family of children
sticky hands on my shoulders
laughing faces
mischevious eyes

I want a dream fulfilled
heartaches soothed
emptiness erased
tearful eyes of joy

but

you don't always get what you want

Tagged!

I was tagged by Frum House to do "the eight". This post took much longer than expected because I felt the need to explain my choices which is really another one of my passions... understanding the reason why about something.


8 passions in my life:

My family, especially DB - This means being a good daughter, sister, aunt, cousin and most importantly a good mother, and being a good mother includes not talking bad about DB's father to or around DB

Sex/men - Enjoying, appreciating, accepting and understanding (well, trying to understand) the differences between men and women and revelling in them.

Smiling/being able to laugh at most anything

Children - being with them, sometimes acting like one and viewing the world through their eyes

Reading - It was an escape for me when I was a child and I didn't want to/wasn't able to face the hurt in the world. It still is. Plus books are a source of knowledge and "if you can read a book you can do anything" - CR's mom

Judging someone favorably. You never know what they're going through or have been through.

Enjoying the world around me and being thankful for the ability to enjoy it which includes sunsets, water, wind, people

loving unconditionally and often - most definitely includes hugs and kisses... yummy.

If I could add something here it would be manners. They show that you respect, care about and are considerate of the people around you.


8 things I often say:

I don't know. What do you think? Let's go look it up. - I say this to DB to show him that adults don't know everything... no one does and that there's nothing wrong with admitting it, but then you have to go find the answer.

I'm not promising, but I'll do my best. - I DO NOT promise!!! I've been disappointed to many times by people who have promised things to me and I will not hurt anyone the same way.

Stooooooop it!!!! - said with laughter in my voice

OK, I admit it. You're right.

Bet you a nickel - in my family the most we bet, actually the only amount we bet is a nickel.

I was wrong. I'm sorry. - I say this to people when I'm wrong (No duh, CR), and that includes DB. I want him to understand that everyone deserves an apology even children.

All I care about is that you tried your best. - The result (sometimes) doesn't matter if you have tried and tried to do your best at something.

Thank you, Hashem. - I say this when I find something, when I see DB's smile, when I realize just how lucky I am, whenever and wherever.


8 books I read recently:

Time Travel in Einstein's Universe: The Physical Possibilities of Travel Through Time by J. Richard Gott - I am a geek and am actually enjoying learning physics or some of the concepts. This book explains how and if certain famous science fiction stories of time travel could work or not work.

Chofetz Chaim A Daily Companion; The Concepts and Laws of Proper Speech

Brother Odd by Dean Koontz. - I really enjoy his books. OK, that's an understatement. They are filled with love, determination, facing your fears, humor, and belief in the human race.

The EVERYTHING Parent's Guide to Children With Dyslexia by Abigail Marshall. - An amazing book that's filled with so much useful information about understanding and helping a child with dyslexia

If I Ran The Zoo by Dr. Seuss. - DB's choice for a bedtime story last night.

Pride And Prejudice by Jane Austen - I'm a sucker for romance.

Between Parent And Child by Dr. Haim G. Ginott revised and updated - A wonderful parenting book that teaches among other things not to blame just to acknowledge and move forward.

New York Civil Practice Law and Rules (2003 Redbook) and case law regarding divorce and child custody issues. I wish I was able to afford LexisNexis online. It would make my life so much easier. And yes, I know I need a newer version of the CPLR.


8 songs that mean something to me:

I Love You A Bushel And A Peck from Guys And Dolls - My mother still sings it to me and just about everyone else. I've adopted the practice and have passed it down to DB and some of his cousins.

Put Your Shoes On, Lucy by Petula Clark - We sing it when we are getting dressed and getting ready to go out.

Marine Corp Anthem - My father used to sing it to my brother and me as a lullaby.

It's An Outrage! from Oklahoma! - DB sings it by heart and with the exact accents, tones, inflections and actions as the actors.

My Little Boy words and music by my mom. - It was originally titled My Little Pearl but when my brother was born she would sing it to him as My Little Boy. I've added another verse specifically for DB.

Now Run Along Home And Jump Into Bed - My mother would sing it to us as the first lullaby of the night. She usually continued with at least one more song when putting us to sleep as children.

Everything Is Going To Be Alright music and words by my mom. The explanation about why I love this song is in this post.

Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond - Thursday nights cooking for Shabbos and dancing around the kitchen with my momand brother.


8 Qualities I look for in a friend:

Non-judgemental/acceptance

loving (which means giving of yourself without expecting anything in return)

making yourself available

sense of humor/fun-loving

understanding or trying to understand

ability to listen

kindness/caring

forgiveness


8 people I tag:

Tr8ergirl
Chaverah
Ellie
Curly Girl
Sarah
Shosh
Jack
Smoo
Lubab

I've realized that most of what I've written in this post has to do with being an example for DB so that he will one day grow up to be a happy, loving, considerate, caring man surrounded by others who feel the same for him.

Can You Find The Post?

I've been told on more than one occasion that I'm having more sex than the person writing me. I hate to disappoint you guys, but it's just not true. I've also been told that I had sex with two different people in the same week, but it's not the case either. Of course, I could be wrong, but you would have to prove it to me.

I've had sex twice in the last two months. Before that I had sex once after 4 months. I'll do the math for you. That's a total of three times within 6 months. If you can show me differently in my posts then I will have to believe you, but I don't see that happening.

I might want to have a lot of sex, but I'm not getting it. I wish the opposite was true. Actually, I wish that I would meet Mr. Right and have all the sex you guys think I'm having.

Online Dating

The guys who made this video won a contest to meet the singer, Brad Paisley. I just remembered this song after I finished reading NJG's post about lying on your dating profile.

I don't lie on my profile. As a matter of fact, I go out of my way to make sure that the men reading it know exactly how old I am. They are going to find out sooner or later anyway.

I like the line about having a threesome.

A Surprise Visit

I met BGB, and I never really expected that to happen. I got a phone call around 10:30 last night that he was near my neighborhood... or so he said. He was actually a good 20-30 minutes away, but he wanted to know if I wanted to come out with him and a friend of his. I really don't get out that often and to go out with people I enjoy sounded like fun.

We didn't go too far just to the pizza shop where we had a "discussion" about my jacket and shirt and the color orange and tan. It turns out that BGB and his friend were not that well versed in colors, but the guys working behind the counter were. If I recall correctly, they said that my jacket was orange and even BGB's friend agreed to that after he got a bottle of Sunkist and put it up against my jacket. I think I'm owed a nickel.

Before I go any further in this post I have to say that they both did something that made me feel so good about knowing them. They said their brochos (blessings) on their food out loud. I know I didn't. I was feeling a little shy, but this is something that is important to me. I am medadek about DB saying brochos and especially about him saying them out loud wherever we are. I do it too.

Yes, I know it shouldn't have mattered who I was with and I've learned a lesson from that. From now on I will say my brochos out loud. It's funny because there are times when I'm not sure of the correct bracha and I even carry around a brochos book with me so I can check. Yes, I went to Bais Yaakov. Yes, we had a yearly B'rochos Bee in second and third grade, but it wasn't encouraged aside from that.

DB is used to saying his B'rochos so that when he asks for a drink of water at night he will say the b'racha in his sleep and drink with his eyes closed. It makes me very proud. He's also very aware of whether or not I say amein to his b'rochos.

Anyway, it was wonderful to see these two men say b'rochos out loud, and I hope DB will do that when he is grown.

OK, back to the post.

We left or rather the pizza store was closing and we had no choice but to go. So we hung out in the car for a couple hours listening to music and talking. I felt like I was in high school again, out with my friends on a Sat. night, with nowhere to go but not ready to say good night. It was so much fun. I did a lot of laughing and felt so at ease with them. We got along great and I even got a poem about my name out of it. BGB's friend wrote it. Sorry, you guys can't see it. He used my real name. Oh! I should've had him do it with "Come Running"... maybe next time.

When they dropped me off BGB walked me back to my apartment like a gentleman. NO! There was no goodnight kiss or anything else. Yeah, yeah, I know what you guys were thinking. But it wasn't like that. It was just what I needed and I don't remember if I said thank you to them. Ugh! That is so not like me! As soon as I know that BGB is awake I'm going to call him and make sure that he knows that I had a wonderful time and he should relay that to his friend.

I went to bed smiling.

Booty Call

Chassidish and I have been keeping in touch with short "how are you" e-mails when we see each other on Frumster, but last night I got a call from him. I didn't expect it, but it was nice to hear his voice. After talking about kids and joking around for awhile, I finally asked him about why he had stopped calling so suddenly.

I completely understood when he said that he was starting to feel things and since he couldn't relocate he needed some space. He had started off the conversation with, "Are you going out with anyone?" Then he progressed to "Are you still going to be relocating to Kansas?" I answered him no to the first question and yes to the second.

He started joking around and asked me again about relocating. Then he mentioned that he missed me. I was a little surprised at that. Yes, I know men have feelings too. I'm just not usually privy to them especially when they concern me. I asked him how his dating was going and he said he had a few "friends" but no one to date for tachlis. So he's getting some, but wants more from a relationship.

We slipped easily into the flirting and double entendres and I found out he was still at work. It was late, but he usually works late. I told him to go home, but why go home when there's no one there? His voice got deeper (y'all know how voices do it for me), and he said he would go home if I would meet him there. I started laughing and then coughing. My cold got a little worse last night.

"There's no way I'm leaving my bed tonight," was what I said, and he immediately retorted, "That's OK I'll join you there." My coughing started again because the laughter did too. I didn't answer so he tried a roundabout way to get into my bed. He said he couldn't decide if he should head home or to me. I told him to go home, but he finally said he didn't want to and went into specifics which I will NOT elaborate on.

It was kind of flattering and tempting, but I had the feeling that if we started fooling around again it might get hard (pun intended) for him feelings-wise. He's a good guy and I didn't want him to get hurt even though it would've been fun.... a lot of fun.

You Give Me Fever

DB is sick with fever, croupy cough and all the good stuff, and like the good boy I'm teaching him to be he's decided to share with me.... just the fever. I'm prone to croup. Yes, I'm an adult, but for some strange reason I can still get croupy. My second year in Eretz Yisrael I had to go to the hospital it was so bad. I'm relieved that I only have the hot feeling on my eyelids right now and not the cough.

It looks like we'll be spending the tomorrow inside watching PBS and The Price Is Right on tv while on the sofa wrapped in a blanket. Don't forget the orange juice, tea and honey and popsicles.

Welcome To The World!!

MAZEL TOV!!!! MAZEL TOV!!!!

Shmellen had a beautiful baby boy! Hooray! Both Mommy and baby (JS) are fine and healthy. Don't really have time to write more. I'm extremely busy, but I couldn't let this wonderful occasion pass by without saying anything. xoxoxoxox I love you guys!

Ticket To Ride

I just remembered that I have a roundtrip plane ticket that I haven't used yet. It was bought for me by a potential date and never used. He came to see me instead, and that's about where it ended.

Anyway, I've got a ticket with nowhere to go. I can take a trip. WOW!!! I can take off and just forget about things. Maybe I'll go out west skiing. Aaah! Gotta love powder! Or maybe I'll go to an Island somewhere and bask in the sun. Just thinking about it makes me feel so free. Any suggestions???

Five Things

...you wouldn't know about me from reading my Frumster profile. I got tagged by WebGirl

1) I get lonely

2) I talk in my sleep. I haven't ever heard myself, but I've been told this on several occasions.

3) I love cashmere, but can't really afford it right now. I do have a rainbow collections of cashmere sweaters in my closet, but I would love some cashmere pj's... yummy softness right next to your skin.

4) As much as compliments tend to make me feel uncomfortable I like to hear them from the man in my life.

5) Staying at home cuddling on the sofa reading or watching a movie makes me just as happy as being out with my friends.

I tag Sweet Rose, ~Sarah~, Passionate Life, DaBoys including DaGirl, Frum Satire

Selling Myself

Someone who wants me with my passion mirrored in his eyes
I won't sell myself. This is who I am, and I want a man to revel in that. I want to know everything about him be able to spot him a city block away just by his walk. To know his laugh as a rumble of joy and crinkling of eyes.

I want his arms around me. surrounding me, enclosing us. the two into one. the quiet breathing of sleep next to me waking to the smile of sun through slotted blinds and birds on windowsills.

Peaches

I enjoy eating. Yes, I know most people do. I also like almost every food out there, and I'm willing to try just about everything once.

We have a rule in our family that you have to at least try it. If you don't like it you don't have to finish it. DB has discovered many foods that he likes because of this rule. The flip side is that I have had to try Slurpees with every flavor mixed together. Ugh! It tastes worse than cough medicine. I've also had to try DB's creations in the kitchen which is why he is learning to cook... some of those creations were horrible and that's an understatement. I think he came up with them just so he could see the faces I make when I put them in my mouth.

DB will eat just about anything I serve him. He's not a chicken fingers and french fries only kid. He likes fish (no, not just fish sticks), steak, veal, vegetables and fruit, but he doesn't like peaches. I'm to blame. Peaches are just too fuzzy for me. Oh! I forgot about raisins. They remind me of bugs and I just don't eat them mixed in foods. I will eat them out of the box though.

We both love frozen blueberries and Pink Lady apples. And the fact that he's my kid means that chocolate is a favorite food group. Just don't serve us a peach pie with raisins.

Friends

Yup, we're friends. At least that's the way I feel. If we don't end up going out, I will still be content. He's a good guy and that's an extremely high compliment in my book. There are some major differences in the way we each approach dating and whether or not we analyze everything or just go out and experience life. It doesn't matter. I understand where he's coming from, and I feel that he "gets" me.

Something inside of me clicked tonight. I saw him more as a friend, someone I could count on to share good times and bad. I can see myself being friends with him forever. He's easy to talk to and really listens... even if he does go "hmmmmm" while I'm talking. It makes me feel like I'm at the doctor's when he does that.

We haven't met face to face yet, but have spent hours upon hours on the phone. I'll let you know if we do ever manage to go out.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I care about him and enjoy him. No, not in that way. I'm not always thinking about sex. Yeah, yeah, I know... it might not be always but sex is on my mind most of the time.

btw-I wonder what his lips taste like?