Monday, December 17, 2007

God?

questions just bring more pain
containing my own for his release

NO
reason why
can erase the trauma etched on his soul
kind and loving god. HA!
No person let alone a god would hurt a child like this.

my hurt is nothing compared to his
but I am not alone in my pain
guilt and tears accompany me
confusion and self-blame attach themselves to my child's soul.

A replay goes on and on through my mind
Is there anything that really could have prevented this?
It would have happened at some time anyway

Are we predestined for pain?
As much as I love him I wish that he would've chosen
someone who could protect him
somewhere without need of protection

god has a sick sense of humor
if he wants my supplications hurt me, destroy me
but not an innocent

his wishes to control the world
are echoed with mine
turning back time

prayers are stuck in my throat
tied to my heart in pain
let HIM release them

yeah right, keep dreamin'

4 comments:

Shoshana said...

Sounds like a really difficult time. I hope it passes quickly. Hang in there. Your love for DB does more for him than you can imagine.

David_on_the_Lake said...

Soooo ugghhh
I felt that soo deeply.
We dont know his plan..
But..we know...somehow
'there is one..
and..these emotions..are..
powerful..and..dont shy away
from expressing them...

Hold on..

Tr8erGirl said...

Just popping in to see how you're doing.....I agree with David - we dont know His plan and you have lotsa people pulling for you! ((hugs!))

come running said...

day,
I keep holding on for DB.

tr8er,
Thanks, I needed a hug.