Falling Deeper

Every time the fears come back he chases them away; with laughter, with love, with words and most especially with his actions.  I've written it before, but I'm going to write it again... and most likely again and again.  He listens to me.  He actually listens to me.  Then he tries his best to give me what I ask for.  And even if I haven't asked for it, he recognizes what I need and he manages to give it to me too.

He's... He's the best thing... He wasn't supposed to happen.  I wasn't looking for anyone.  At least I wasn't looking for anyone to love.  He calms me, excites me, and satisfies me in so many ways.  I want him.  I love him.  I don't want him to go away.  I don't want to go away.  I'm trying my damnedest to be honest and open and not expect him to read my mind.  Yes, he can do it anyway, but it's better for both of us if I can tell him things.

I know I just wrote it.  I know I told him numerous times, but each time I say it...

I love him.

Resolving The Issue

"It isn't a solution if one of us is miserable."  His words.  His beautiful words.

You see, there wasn't an answer, but he got us past it.

The us in his statement is the solution.

He Tries

What more could I ask for?  Not only that, but he usually succeeds.

The three words I was sure he was feeling, but only heard a couple of times and then no more, have been spoken, and written.

My Mr. Spock is trying to acknowledge his human side even while he analyzes it.  The thing is that it seems I understand emotions (his emotions) a little better than he does.  Or at least I'm able to acknowledge them even if he can't; love, jealousy, and anger.

He was willing and is willing to listen to my point of view.  He has some more amazing characteristics including being the most caring and understanding man I know.  AND his kisses take my breath away - literally!!

I love him and he loves me.  Simple

A Change of Attitude

I'm happy because I choose to be.

I've had a rough couple of months, been down both emotionally and physically.  The funny thing is that once I decided to be happy and to look at things in a more positive manner, I'm not sick anymore.  My voice is almost back to normal which is great because it's hard to sing songs with two year olds when you sound like an old man who's been smoking since he was 10.

And yes, I'm now getting hugs and kisses and tons of smiles almost every day.  That's the best payment of working with little ones.  Oh! I forgot their giggles!!!

I've been trying not to think too much about what's going on relationship-wise.  There really isn't too much I can do about it; either leave or stay.  So for right now, I'm sticking around and choosing to believe him or at least trying to believe him.  I want to be with him, but it probably won't happen.  Just being realistic.