Not In Kansas Anymore

This is my first post. Yes, I'm a blogger virgin, but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it quickly just like I got the hang of.....

I guess it's not just guys who have one track minds, but that's not the only reason I'm writing this. I just started dipping my high heeled shoes in the dating pool and it's not as much fun as I thought it would be. Perhaps swimming with sharks would be the proper description. I'm not originally from NY, and I didn't go to camp or college up here. I'm a real out-of-towner stuck in Oz, and I just want to click my heels and wake up with a loving man beside me.

So I joined Frumster (of course), and Saw You at Sinai (not for me). I even tried J-date. But is anyone on that site really interested in getting married? Within months I have become confused, disillusioned and frustrated. I feel like I keep on seeing the same guys over and over again. In fact, two look so much alike (I'm going to see if I can somehow put their picture/pictures? on this post) that I thought they were twins, or one guy is borrowing another's picture (with or without permission). I know that you can't see pictures of the same sex on Frumster, although I haven't figured out why. NO, I'm not naive, but I'm sure that if someone was looking for a gay lover they wouldn't be doing it on Frumster. Or would they?!?

I started reading the blogs of people who are also looking for Mr. or Mrs. (Yeshivish, Yeshivish Modern, Modern Machmir etc....) Right, and started to realize that this search might take some time. Did I write "some time"? I meant till the end of time. At least that's the way it feels. How can I possibly be ready for a break from dating when I have only gone out with two guys? I'm not counting Mr. Napoleon Complex that I spoke to for over a month (maybe I should count him) and never ended up meeting him. He was in Toronto and I'm in Oz. He did want to fly me up to see him, but I found out he lied to me extensively so I ended it before it even began. Of course, it wasn't a clean break. He kept on calling, but not with an apology. He just wanted to blame me. The last thing he said to me before I hung up on him was that he spoke to a mekubal, and he said that I would be miserable the rest of life if I didn't marry Mr. Complex, get pregnant immediately and stand in the kitchen barefoot.

I thought I learned my lesson with Mr. Complex. Little did I know that there is more than one lesson to learn. Number two and I did manage to meet, however briefly. You see, he was moving to Israel two weeks after our first date. Ok ok , I shouldn't even have started talking to him on the phone it's just that it was very alluring to have someone interested in me. I've been in the process of a divorce for a number of years.... guess again, it's been longer than that. Anyway, during that time I haven't (got to change that to past tense now) I didn't go out with anyone or even talk to anyone. Yes, I talk to guys it's just that I was busy, tied up emotionally and being chased by the Wicked Warlock of the North(the ex).

Back to number two and the mistakes I made with him...

1. continued writing to him even after he said he was moving to Israel
2. talked to him too much on the phone before we finally met
3. had sex less than five hours after I picked him up at the airport
4. let him get away with not taking me out Sat. night

I could go on and on and on........ but he's gone now and I've met a wonderful Mr. Three-Time's-The-Charm.

The only problem is Mr. Charm is... Well, maybe I shouldn't get into that right now. He might end up reading this. The other issue is that I didn't tell Mr. Charm about the first two. I had decided that I was going to tell each guy that he was the first (you've heard about the women who are regaining their virginity) since I've been divorced. Can't wait to get those papers that set me free. That's one of the reason why I was waiting to find the Wonderful Wizard of Oz (aka Mr. Right). Then I could see how they would treat me after hearing this. Would they take me out and try to make it a date I wouldn't forget or would it turn into a date I would regret?

I didn't think anything would take place with Mr. Charm especially after the other dates so I didn't bother telling him the truth. Another lesson learned!!!!!

I didn't mean to mislead him, and I am someone who has a difficult time lying and living with myself if I do lie. Maybe part of the reason for writing this blog is so that he will read it and I won't have to tell him myself. It's just that I didn't expect to go out with him for more than a couple of dates and..... it's been more than a couple at this point. Anyway, I have now learned the lesson that I shouldn't have to tell a guy that this is my first date because he should plan for it because it's "our" first date.

I think that I am done for today... but I would gladly appreciate any and all advice since it's quite possible that I don't even belong in the water yet.